Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).
This is for the common app prompt above, please edit and critique.
My extracurricular was Arista Tech position where my job was to do a admission report.
I had one goal from staying in the college office every afternoon and free period - to carry out operation CAR. CAR stood for College Admission Report - the name of something possibly unspeakable. The data to people's future was in my fingertips: SAT scores, grade point averages, and rankings. My job was to put this information with the schools these individuals applied to and record their end results. Almost a year later I had a package worth selling to college admission statistics website and instead I gave the information (without the student names to keep confidentiality) to the current class of 2011. Using this data, students were able to compare their own chances of making their dream schools and pick out their safeties. Not only did others benefit through this job, I also reaped the chance to learn about different schools. I offered a helpful hand and my time never thinking I was receiving the benefits of researching schools, and knowing my own chances.
I was considering writing something else, but a few friends liked it and gave some tips.
They said its original, I need more advice.
Please help me edit as well.
This is for the common app prompt above, please edit and critique.
My extracurricular was Arista Tech position where my job was to do a admission report.
I had one goal from staying in the college office every afternoon and free period - to carry out operation CAR. CAR stood for College Admission Report - the name of something possibly unspeakable. The data to people's future was in my fingertips: SAT scores, grade point averages, and rankings. My job was to put this information with the schools these individuals applied to and record their end results. Almost a year later I had a package worth selling to college admission statistics website and instead I gave the information (without the student names to keep confidentiality) to the current class of 2011. Using this data, students were able to compare their own chances of making their dream schools and pick out their safeties. Not only did others benefit through this job, I also reaped the chance to learn about different schools. I offered a helpful hand and my time never thinking I was receiving the benefits of researching schools, and knowing my own chances.
I was considering writing something else, but a few friends liked it and gave some tips.
They said its original, I need more advice.
Please help me edit as well.