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Challenge to prove myself; statement of motivation for information engineering


ohimai83 1 / 1  
Apr 15, 2013   #1
this som is for application to a bsc program. be frank with me please. thank you.

My interest in computers dates back to the early days of my high school when I took part in a seminar related to computers. I was then really fascinated by the complexities of its different structures and their workings. This interest has evolved into a determination to study about computers deeply and to do some valuable research in the field.

My objective for undergraduate studies in information Engineering is to prepare myself for my long-term ambition of becoming a forerunner in the information technology industry. I have nurtured a strong passion to become an engineer and engage in research. In the pursuit of knowledge, I have always adopted a rigorous approach in order to derive a better understanding of the subject at hand.

Towards the fulfilment of this goal, I obtained a Higher National Diploma (HND) in computer science in 2010, from Yaba College of Technology, Lagos, Nigeria. The five year diploma program in computer science, which included one year of industrial training, formed the basis of my perseverance towards achieving an in-depth knowledge in the field of Information Engineering.

I believe this bachelor degree program offers me the greatest opportunity to expand my education in some very meaningful areas of interest. I am already familiar with some of the subjects in the curriculum posted on your website such as algebra, calculus, electronics, digital circuits, software engineering, databases, data structure and operating system. In addition, I am very enthusiastic about learning software construction, signals and systems, micro controller and computer architecture. I feel that these topics would do a lot to prepare me for further studies and research work.

Throughout my time in school and within the work environment, I have always been proactive in assuming responsibility for group work. For instance, I was president of science club in secondary school.

All these I have accomplished despite being paraplegic. Most people in this part of the world believe that if you are physically challenged, you cannot aspire to greatness. I want to change this perception by getting to the pinnacle of my chosen profession. In order to accomplish this, I require the most conducive environment for learning and research, which unfortunately, is not present in my country.

Germany is one of the most highly developed and efficient industrial nations. It is a land of ideas and it's achievements in the fields of Science and engineering have been significant. Research and Development forms an integral part of innovative technologies. German schools and industries are strongly engaged in research. It is the third most preferred host country for international students, following the United States and Great Britain. One of the main reasons I chose Germany is because the education here guarantees practical knowledge in addition to solid theoretical foundation. Also, it provides a platform to launch a career through industry oriented internship and research at all levels.

XXX with its excellent infrastructure, competent faculty and research oriented training will be an ideal place for me to pursue undergraduate studies and motivate me towards career excellence. Teaching here emphasizes real-life experiences through extensive hands-on laboratory based training and internships. The university provides career opportunities in leading organizations for students. With my good academic background, relevant experience and zeal to learn, I earnestly believe that I would be able to contribute effectively to and derive benefits from the program as an undergraduate student. Also the tuition fee waivers and scholarships for students is an added incentive. I would regard my admission to your University not only as a great honour but also as a great responsibility and challenge to prove myself. I look forward to the opportunity to work with the highly accomplished faculties and diverse students at your university.
shuynh4 - / 4 1  
Apr 17, 2013   #2
Your essay is written very well. It flows nicely too. My advice is that you focus on sentence structure. You have a few run on sentences, not a big deal. Overall, great essay!
shuynh4 - / 4 1  
Apr 17, 2013   #3
Your essay is written very well and sounds very convincing. However, I would suggest that start off your fourth paragraph differently. Starting with "all of these" sounds unprofessional. Instead, you can start off with something like this: Being paraplegic has never stood in the way of me reaching my goals.
OP ohimai83 1 / 1  
Apr 17, 2013   #4
thank you shuynh4 for your honest reviews. it is highly appreciated. your suggestion for the fourth paragraph is excellent. I will effect the change immediately.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 19, 2013   #5
. I was then really fascinated by the complexities of its different structures and their workings.

That experience aroused my fascination over the complexities of different structures and workings of computers.

This interest has evolved into a determination to study about computers deeply and to do some valuable research in the field.

This interest slowly evolved into a passion and a determination to pursue an in dept knowledge on computers.

. I have nurtured a strong passion to become an engineer and engage in research

.... sounds a bit repetitive as you have talked about this previously


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