Common App Activities short answer ("cultivating coral")

Prompt: please elaborate on one of your activities...

I was just wondering if anyone could give me some insight on what I have so far... thanks.

I have been cultivating coral for about 6 years now. So what exactly do I mean by cultivating coral? Well, coral cultivation is the process of growing coral, a diverse class of marine organisms, in a glass fish tank. Coral cultivation involves replicating the natural conditions of the ocean. Attaining these conditions is the easy part, but maintaining them takes a vast knowledge of chemical sciences and of the corals natural ecosystem.

Additionally, my hobby has also grown into a business. For the past four years I have been a member of the Boston Reefers Society. As a member of the society I have provided many other members with coral that I have grown, in exchange for money. At one point, I made nearly fifteen-hundred dollars in one day. My experience with coral cultivation has taught me a lot about aquatic chemistry and marine biology.

whoa, that's really cool.
I know it's supposed to be 250 words max., but if you could add a bit about yourself taking initiative, or figuring out how to go about the business (something that shows leadership or another "outstanding characteristic"), it would be top notch.

That's really my only advice. It's a great short answer, and admissions officers would definitely appreciate the unusual topic.

Good Luck with apps!
Jonathan Flash

actually, its 150 words max... thanks for the input though!

I think you should definitely use this. Its a great short answer and i checked the word count and you are at 145 so very nice job in length and content. :D

whoa that is really cool. i didn't even know you could do that :P
i think if you could somehow add a sentence or two explaining what you've learned/how you've benefited from it your essay would be even better. you probably don't worry about length too much as long as you're somewhere between 150-180 we should all be fine.

will you take a look at my short answer?

This really is great. I can't believe it is so profitable! Where do you sell what you make? Probably in Boston...

Well, maybe it is better to take out this sentence: So what exactly do I mean by cultivating coral?

Or, you can keep it. I guess I would take it right out and get to the point. Your writing style reflects clear thinking, it seems. No errors...

Good luck!!