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Common APP Short answer - Guitar; Don't forget about that B flat or the C sharp



vickaay 3 / 6  
Oct 17, 2009   #1
Please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).

"Don't forget about that B flat, or the C sharp in the fourth measure. Make sure you pick correctly on those eight notes," my guitar teacher instructed. From the age of twelve, I have played guitar continuously, taking weekly lessons and practicing daily. When I first began, I read basic notes and chords, but upon discovering tablature after two years, I slightly ignored my past teachings. I assumed faster meant better, and after a few years of shredding to Metallica and As Blood Runs Black, I realized my presumption was incorrect. Within the past few years, however, I have branched out within my genres of music, playing mostly classical and folk, and constantly learning new scales, arpeggios, and songs. Six years of guitar has taught me discipline, appreciation for all types of music, and motivation to improve. To me, guitar is a life-long passion that does not have a limit.

How does it sound? It's exactly 150 words, so to improve it there must be removing of words as well, i suppose.
Would it sound better to say "... and motivation to progress" or should I just keep improve?

Anyway, tell me what you think! :)

daniamxg 1 / 16  
Oct 17, 2009   #2
I slightly ignored my past teachings

You can't quite slightly ignore something, maybe began would be better; to show how you transitioned to a faster guitar playing.

I have branched out within my genres of music, playing mostly classical and folk, and constantly learning new scales, arpeggios, and songs.

Leave out the and, and the sentence will be much smoother. Also the 'within my' sounds a little off, you might want to change it to just 'in'.

Other than that, I believe it is a good paragraph!


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