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I'm compassionate; UC Personal Statement for Common App



lars 1 / 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #1
Maybe I could use the topic : Evaluate a signiï-cant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Is this okay???

As a naturally quiet middle child, the dark first two years of high school did not provide an environment in which dreams and ambitions could grow. If it had not been for a chance to change high schools at the start of eleventh grade, I might still be looking down. Instead, I had the opportunity to start fresh and build a world that would allow me to look ahead and have ambitions I never thought possible. Although the beginning of high school was a rough period for me, I'm grateful that it helped make me who I am today -- a compassionate person with many interests, hope for the future, and the confidence to achieve my goals.

It is not unusual to have to adjust to ninth grade; however, I only struggled more rather than adjusting. I was searching for my place within the crowd, but was rejected from those 'exclusive' societies that form in high school. I longed to be part of a group or club, but I felt that I could not meet the academic and social standards of those around me. My sophomore year I was briefly diagnosed with depression. I spent lunch and nutrition alone in the library, isolating myself more and more until I consulted with a therapist. She helped me mold my goals by making me realize that I needed to get out there and show myself off. Taking her advice inspired me to make a new start.

This opportunity came when a new school opened in our district--The School of History and Dramatic Arts, "SoHDA." This was where I began to create a world in where I was not lost in the crowd. This new school and I are kindred spirits. Built on a former industrial site in an area more known for the meeting of gang rivals than education, this learning complex of five themed schools was the first time this low-income neighborhood had a high school of its own. Just as the neighborhood has new hope with this school, I am adding new strengths and possibilities to my world every day. Instead of waiting for someone to invite me in a club, my friend and I created a poetry club, where students were able to get together and express themselves poetically. We met on Fridays of the week to recite poems created by famous poets, or created by the members themselves. Being part of the poetry club has been really valuable for me because I learned to express myself creatively and voice my opinions productively. Through these new skills, I've also learned how to help others.

Who would have thought during my dark days in tenth grade that as a senior I would be part of school leadership?
As lost as this 17 year old could have been, I feel proud that I was able to create a world in which I was no longer lost in the crowd. A late bloomer by high school standards, I am eager to keep growing and to venture out around the world to experience life and help others with their struggles. I want to challenge myself to greater heights by further education so I can be of service at home and, hopefully, abroad as well. "

Jhoanna22 1 / 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
In my opinion it was very moving! I was an extremely shy girl through out middle school and what helped me overcome my introversion was actually speaking for my middle scool graduation>.<
cesaror123 4 / 7  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
I actually did the same thing, reusing my UC Personal Statement, but I just made a couple of tweaks to make sure it answered the Commonapp question correctly so as long as you did make some edits, and you are not using the EXACT same essay, I think you're fine. Either way, the essay is well written and very moving.


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