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"A Conflict of Nations" - UC Prompt 2. Need help revise!!


wklui 2 / -  
Nov 30, 2008   #1
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

"A Conflict of Nations", was the title of a power point project that my group had submitted to my teacher for 10th grade to receive honors credit in my modern world course. Being the one in charge of this project was not an easy task, having to lead the group and interacting with each other. I was the one who had to present it to my teacher and explain to him about the details of the events that occurred during that period. The teacher was impressed with our work, which he saved it onto his computer for future uses to lecture his class.

Given a time period of one week to complete this difficult assignment, my group mates and I were each responsible for a portion of the project. As being the leader for the group, I knew there was no room for errors and mistakes. Everyday within the week, I spoke with my group mates, assuring that they were on task, and asking them if they had difficulties and request help if needed. By reminding them the due date and how important this project is, everyone was motivated and began to put more effort into it. Every night, I called each individual to check on their process upon their section of their work. By the end of the week, everyone had submitted their portion of the work to me to assemble the project together.

After receiving everyone's work, I spent sometime myself to ensure the information was accurate and correct. By devoting tremendous amount of time researching, I was able to include more details onto the project. After finalizing the project, I was unable to understand the context due to the complexity of the text written. Only through reading the details carefully word by word was I able to interpret the data and practiced explaining each fact precisely. Meeting up with my group mates on the last day of the week at the library, we glanced at our project and there, I gave an explanation to each slide within the power point. My group mates were amazed and astounded by the accomplishment I had done.

The following day, I presented the project to my teacher with awe. By explaining each slide and describing the events happened to my teacher, he was amazed. After my presentation, he saved our project onto his computer and used it for his future lectures.

With this experience, I became more social and interested in becoming the leader. Being a leader has given me the potential of managing difficulties and organizing the materials. With our careful planning and time devoted to this project, it became an overall success for everyone.
nevabressler - / 20  
Nov 30, 2008   #2
Being the one in charge of this project was not an easy task, having to lead the group and interact with each other. I was chosen as the one to present it to my teacher and explain to him about the details of the events that occurred during that period. The teacher was impressed with our work, which he saved it onto his computer for future use in lectures to his class.

As leader of the group, I knew there was no room for error.

Every day within the week...

By reminding them of the due date and how important this project was everyone was m...

After receiving everyone's work, I spent some time myself ...

My group mates were amazed and astounded by what I had accomplished.

The following day, I presented the project to my teacher with great enthusiasm.

By explaining each slide and describing the events to my teacher...

This experience has helped me feel more confident and comfortable in a leadership role...

I liked your essay! When you are the 'big boss' someday though, don't forget the little guy, the more they respect and like you, the better they'll be at their jobs!

Neva
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 1, 2008   #3
Thanks Neva, for the excellent revisions. You made my job easy!

WKLUI, I think you should use these recommendations from Neva, and also comine the last two paragraphs into one:

The following day, I presented the project to my teacher with awe. By explaining each slide and describing the events happened to my teacher, he was amazed. After my presentation, he saved our project onto his computer and used it for his future lectures. With this experience, I became more social and interested in becoming the leader. Being a leader has given me the potential of managing difficulties and organizing the materials. With our careful planning and time devoted to this project, it became an overall success for everyone.


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