"to continue my education and major in Nutrition" - writing a transfe personal essay.

I just started writing my personal essay for plattsburgh. any ideas on how i can expand my essay

Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. This personal essay helps us become acquainted with you as a person and student, apart from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will also demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself.

I am a current student at The City University at New York at Borough of Manhattan Community College, majoring in Liberal Arts to fulfill General Education requirements and be able to transfer to a four year university. My decision on transferring to State University of New York at Plattsburgh is because I want to be able to continue my education and major in Nutrition and be able to receive my Bachelors of Science in Nutrition, and minor in Spanish. While researching Plattsburgh I came up with the study abroad programs and is something I am very interested in, being able to study in a different country is an experience that many students should enjoy. I have researched the Nutrition program at Plattsburgh and I believe that Plattsburgh is a great college for me to pursue my educational goals.

Elaborate more. Why do you want to study nutrition? Why is Pittsburgh the place for you? Why do you want to study abroad? I believe that you have a good start to this essay, but just need to expand on what you already laid the foundations for.

This is me trying to expand my essay... but is not 250 words
i really dont know what else to add...

I am a current student at The City University of New York at Borough of Manhattan Community College majoring in Liberal Arts to fulfill General Education requirements and be able to transfer to a four year university that is outside of the busy city which would be a different environment that I would get to experience. My decision on transferring to State University of New York at Plattsburgh is because I want to be able to continue my education and major in Nutrition and be able to receive my Bachelors of Science in Nutrition and minor in Spanish. Majoring in Nutrition is important to me because I would like to communicate a healthy lifestyle to the working class because they don't have the resources that others do, to live a healthier lifestyle. While researching Plattsburgh I came up with the study abroad program which is something I am very interested in because I want to experience other countries and their nutritional lifestyles as well as their historical backgrounds. Being able to study in a different country is an experience that many students should enjoy and take advantage of because college is the time to travel. I have researched the Nutrition program at Plattsburgh and I believe that Plattsburgh is a great college for me to pursue my educational goals.

My decision on transferring I choose to transfer to State University of New York at Plattsburgh is because I want to be able to continue my education and major in Nutrition and be able to receive earn my Bachelors of Science in Nutrition, while taking a minor in Spanish.

While researching Plattsburgh I came up with the study abroad programs and is something I am very interested in, being able to study in a different country is an experience that many students should enjoy. You should revise this sentence. It is too complex, and I thinnk a word is missing.

The last sentence of the essay is sort of boring and insubstantial. You should leave them with something "extra" to think about.

Nutrition is a GREAT choice!!!

:-)