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"Cosiness" - Why Yale



cristtgn 1 / 1  
Sep 15, 2011   #1
Hi

Im an international student applying for Yale this year. I dont have much experience at these "short answers" so I would like to have a second opinion.

This is my "Why Yale" short essay

What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? Please limit your response to the space provided.

Cosiness. The state of warm confort between the students, the professors and the roommates is the most important factor for me. I feel that being an international student at Yale I will not be thousands of kilometers far from home, but I will actually find a second home. The fame of Yale is not only for being one of the best universities in the world, but also for providing the best learning and housing environment for its students and employees.

Is that too regular? Should I be "wilder" or something? Please help me guys...

Thanks

Rechy 11 / 72  
Sep 16, 2011   #2
I'm an international applicant from Nigeria also applying to Yale through the SCEA this year.
I''m having the same problems as yours.
Goodluck with your application.
muge 5 / 12  
Sep 16, 2011   #3
Hi, Cristtgn
I think it would be better if you add one or two sentences.
And these should be compliments about Yale.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13059  
Sep 17, 2011   #4
The theme can be okay, but you have to do something clever with it. As this is now, you could say the same thing about ANY school. Any school can be a second home.

So... use this as an opportunity to impress the reader by showing that you went to great lengths to decide which school to choose. You have to do some soul searching, because you must choose a school based on your goals for the future. You must be reading articles about the areas that interest you most, and based on what you learn you get this idea about something you want to DO to contribute to your professional field. So what is it?

What is it that you want to do, and that you will be able to do as a student at Yale?

Maybe there is a particular Yale professor who wrote an article that changed your whole outlook.

The best strategy is to use this as an opportunity to show the reader that you have been proactive about doing your research and making your plans.
OP cristtgn 1 / 1  
Sep 17, 2011   #5
Hey

Thanks a lot for your advice! I will try to figure something out to improve this.
darkeyedduke 2 / 5  
Sep 17, 2011   #6
You are not applying to Yale just because the roomates, right?
To feel the school like a second home is a nice point, but I think you can write some other aspects as well.
Like the school's spirits?
Good luck!
avalenzuela 1 / 6  
Sep 17, 2011   #7
cristtgn
Hello there!

I know how hard it is to write a short answer to a university as outstanding as Yale(especially if you love to write..write...write..and write!! like me!) Anyways, after reading your short answer I concluded that you should try "Rewording" this part..."I feel that being an international student at Yale I will not be thousands of kilometers far from home." It is a bit confusing.

Good luck :)
kate47 - / 5  
Sep 20, 2011   #8
"Cosiness. The state of warm confort between the students, the professors and the roommates is the most important factor for me. I feel that being an international student at Yale I will not be thousands of kilometers far from home, but I will actually find a second home. The fame of Yale is not only for being one of the best universities in the world, but also for providing the best learning and housing environment for its students and employees."

You didn't even TELL us anything from this. Every school has roommates and professors. And the part about Yale being the best? Anyone can read that on their website. Yale knows they're the "best." You need to seriously rethink your answer. Going to Yale because you think it's "cosy" is ludicrous.

I do not understand why every kid thinks they're being so novel when they basically restate what the universities' write on their own webpages.


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