Hi, I would appreciate all the feedback I can possibly get for two of my Yale supplemental essays! Thank you :)
Why do these areas appeal to you?
(125 words or fewer):
Cre·scen·do: a gradual increase in the volume of music.
There it was. Glistening from what seemed a mile away, my feet subconsciously began to move. In the music store filled with countless other instruments, I immediately fell in love with the flute.
From learning Hot Cross Buns on the flute to singing in my high school choir, my love for music has only continued to crescendo to this day. At Yale, studying music will allow me to convert my passion into action. I hope to use music to better understand how the brain works to help treat physical and mental problems. Just like how my love for music continues to crescendo, I strive to allow others to do the same.