"my culture in Kazakhstan" - Dealing with diverse cultures (250 word limit)

Hello,
please could you help me with essay structure and content? does it matches the essay topic?

When growing up in a certain environment for so long it is hard to adapt to anything else but what we have been brought up with. Several years ago I took a trip where my culture in Kazakhstan did not match up with the educational journey I planned. This trip to England was a trip of a lifetime, and to make the best of it, I needed to adapt to the culture around me.

Since the first moment I stepped off the airplane, I needed to start making cultural adjustments. As I was looking around, I realized I was looking into a completely different world. However, one thing that was still making me feel comfortable was people from my home country who were assigned to the same school as I was. The next thing that I had to face with was living in foster family with people whom I have never seen before. My major concern was whether we could find "common language" and spend time together with pleasure and comfort. Nevertheless, to my big surprise, people around me were very polite and treated me with understanding to my origin.

Now, I can truly say that this was the best experience of my life, where diversity in cultures did not become an obstacle for me to find new friends and become for a little while a part of the British family.

[quote=Jenny_]

It is a little hard for a person living in one certain surroundings for a long time to adapt to another new culture immediately.

Several years ago, I took a trip to Kazakstan where my culture first conflicted with another one.

(I think you need to make it more clearly in logically in the first paragraph)

thanks for the comment
will try to express my idea more clearly in the very fisrt paragraph

We can make this beginning more efficient:
When growing up in a certain environment for so long, it is hard to adapt to anything new. Several years ago, I took a trip during which my culture in Kazakhstan did not match up with the educational journey I planned circumstances of the journey.

Since the first moment I stepped off...

As you practice writing, I think you should try to include at least 4 sentences with each paragraph. Each paragraph is like a little essay with intro (topic sentence), supporting material, and conclusion. Each paragraph should be about one idea, and all the paragraphs should support the main idea of the whole essay.

:-)