Dan Ariely's book "Predictably Irrational" - UPenn 'interests' essay for college of arts and science

could anyone please advise about my essay and what else can i add to make it better...

essay prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying. (400-650 words)

There is a book lying in my cupboard, half yellowed-not because it's been abandoned, but rather because I have kept it safe for years. I remember the day when my economics teacher passed on this treasure as a gift of the sincerest kind. But today I rather recall it as a blessing, because if it weren't for this book, I would likely never have been introduced to behavioral economics.

Dan Ariely's book Predictably Irrational addresses the theories of behavioral economics, which approaches economics from a psychological and sociological perspective. I was very intrigued by Ariely's theories and experiments; the one which I found the most interesting was his "truth about relativity," in which Ariely posits that our decisions are not based on objective matters such as utility (such as is posited by classical economists like Adam Smith), but rather on relative comparisons between the choices available.My father once exhibited this behavior. Before a movie, he went to buy a medium-sized Coke. I recall the transaction: "A medium coke please," my father requested. The salesman replied, "Sir if you add 15 rupees more you can purchase the large one." (I hear that in America, they say "make it large.") My father gave him a "humph" followed by a faux-exasperated "fine!". I found this very peculiar as I wondered why the cinema would keep such a minute difference between large and regular soda. But then it struck me that it was only because of this minute difference that my father ended up buying the large. So the theater was astutely using this small difference to shift the consumer's expenditure, however reluctantly, towards the large size and booking an extra 15 rupees on each sale.

My other intellectual interest is to apply my knowledge to real-life situations; I am always delighted to explore the link between the "dead" text in our textbooks and the world outside. My ultimate aim is to exploit my knowledge to solve economic problems in my home nation, India. I am saddened to see people dying of hunger. If a country with the ninth largest GDP and a significant agricultural produce can't supply the needs of its population, then there's a problem within our monetary system. As, the person living on the streets, is living such a life because he is engulfed in a system that values a piece of paper more than somebody's life.And if we have created such a money-based economy, then we likewise bear the obligation to ensure that everyone feels secure in it. If not, those in power are simply being selfish by intentionally ignoring the facts just so they don't end up altering their luxurious lifestyle (and yes, despite my youth I count myself among those in power because of my privileges). I don't want to fall into that trap; I want to help the poor in India to break the cycle of poverty by providing them sufficient financial opportunities to fulfill their needs-and to incentivize those with greater means to create those opportunities.

It is thus natural that I pursue the study of economics, and I wish to study it at UPenn's school of arts and sciences,in an institution that values the learning received outside the conventional classrooms. UPenn is a place where classes are held in a real-life context and students are given room to research and develop perceptions and theories of their own. UPenn's flexible and broad interdisciplinary courses with an available combination of a double majors in Math and economics is strongly appealing, because I know mathematics underlies all economic fields, even the psychology and sociology-driven field of behavioral economics. Penn's small student-faculty ratio would allow me to connect more with professors and share ideas rigorously with them. Finally, with a very interactive/active community and wide variety of internship programs, I would develop skills necessary to succeed in the workplace-whether that is for a consulting firm, non-profit, or my own think tank.

Sanchit, I am not sure why you are discussing an experience of seeing a movie with your dad, a book that is turning yellow in your room, or GDP and other states of being in your country in relation to your academic interests at UPenn. I think you may have misunderstood the requirements of the prompt, which led to this off base response at the start of your essay.

The requirement of the essay is simple and clear. Consider your academic and intellectual interests. List them down, then do research on the class offerings, laboratories, libraries, or research facilities that exist at UPenn. Which of the university offerings fall in line with your own interests? Why do you think that those classes, lab work, research facilities, or other learning related offerings at UPenn will help you better pursue your academic and intellectual interests at the university?

Make sure that you represent your response to the prompt in a manner that makes it clear to the reviewer that you did your homework by doing an in-depth research of the university offerings in relation to your interests. The prompt requires you to prove your familiarity with the course that you will be enrolling in and the intellectual and academic demands that it will be making on you as a student there. The reviewer wants to know how you will be able to grow academically with the help of the university, so connecting the university offerings with your interests is of the utmost importance to the reviewer in this case.

thanks for the review vangiespen.
Actually, i was referring my intellectual interests as- behavioural economics and my love to apply my knowledge in real life situations.
and then i connected these interests to the academic environment present in UPenn.

could you pleas help me in understanding what does then "intellectual interests" mean, because i might have understood it in a different perspctive, so could you please elaborate and give me examples of intellectual interests that i could mention in my esay.

Sanchit, in all honesty, when you mentioned the book that was turning yellow in your room, I thought that you were referring to an author who was working as a professor at UPenn. Had you mentioned the book, your interest in behavioral economics, and that the professor worked at UPenn, ending it with something like "I look forward to enrolling in Prof. XX's class in at UPenn in an effort to continue my intellectual development which he helped me start when I first read his book." You can actually use the name of any professor at the university whose class you are interested in enrolling in, provided you can provide an explanation as to how that professor will inspire you to achieve something intellectually through the class.

Another way of developing your intellectual interest would be to indicate that you are interested in performing research based upon a particular economic theory that you would like to develop. Explain what the theory is, how you see yourself doing the research, then mentioning some libraries, professors, research centers, etc. that the university offers which can help you develop your research. That is another example of intellectual interest development.

Now, when we talk of academic interests, you can mention either an existing research or professor at the university whose work has intrigued you so much in the past that you would like nothing more than to make personal contact with that professor and assisting in his or her research at the moment. This would be a very interesting way of discussing how you see your academic interests growing outside of the regular classroom lessons and professor interaction at the university.

Please feel free to ask additional questions if you feel a need to do so. I will do my best to clarify things for you as soon as possible :-)

Thanks again Vangiespen for taking out time for reviewing my essay!!!
i have written a new essay, with the edits you wanted me to make, could you please tell me where else i could add things and should edit,.or could revert back an edited drat, it would be a great help...

Economics has never been a compulsion rather a choice that I have always cherished. I am mostly interested in economics because of its relevance and limitless application in our life. You might not think about laws of physics while walking, which actually works on Newton's third law but when you see a news article titled "Fed has increased rates" you can understand the economic intentions and the underlying impacts of such an event. So as economics demands practical involvement,I find it imperative to pursue such a practical oriented subject in a university that values the education received outside. And Upenn, formed on the principles of Benjamin Franklin's hands on teaching ideology is surfeit with such a curriculum. UPenn's extra emphasis on primary research is a testament to the practical academic curriculum that it follows. I can't help but to visualize myself on a bright sunny day, distributing my surveys on the locust walk to students, who are already very accustomed to such traditions. Additionally the classes are held in real life context and don't confine the students imaginations inside the four walls of a classroom or the syllabus mentioned at the start of the semester. Needless to say, with its limitless opportunities of getting involved in the corporate environment through specialized internship programs, UPenn will be the most suitable architect of the corporate career that I envision to pursue.

In my high school I also developed an interest in behavioral economics; I was personally intrigued by the Dan Ariely's book 'predictably irrational'. The thing that distinguishes behavioral economics from classical economics is that it questions the basic assumptions made in economics of considering 'consumers rational'. And with this approach behavioral is considered an empirical and imperative part of policy making. Ariely included many experiments that I could significantly relate to my life experiences and perhaps that was the main reason I was interested to explore more of behavioral economics. One such example was when-Before a movie my father and I went to buy a medium-sized Coke. I recall the transaction: "A medium coke please," my father requested. The salesman replied, "Sir, if you add 15 rupees more you can purchase a large one." (I hear that in America, they say "make it large.") My father gave him a "humph" followed by a faux-exasperated "fine!" I found this very peculiar as I wondered why the cinema would keep such a minute difference between large and regular soda. But then it struck me that it was only because of this minute difference that my father ended up buying the large. So the theater was astutely using such a small difference to shift the consumer's expenditure, however reluctantly, towards the large size and booking an extra 15 rupees on each sale. It's because of such interesting applications of behavioral economic; I wish to pursue it in college. And in UPenn I can undertake a unique opportunity of pursing economics as my majors in college of arts and science with an additional course of behavioral economics in Wharton school! And it's because of such flexible and diverse interdisciplinary courses UPenn offer that a student can even pursue courses present in different schools, I was particularly interested in Penn. In Proffesser Rakesh Vohra words "some interesting problems sometimes cut across different disciplines",I don't want to miss such a variegated academic adventure UPenn provides and thus consider it as a priority college that I find as a perfect fit for my academic interests.

Apart from my academics, the active rather inter-active community of the social IVY is not only appealing but reassuring for the interconnected lifestyle that I wish to pursue in college. UPenn's diverse and an even closer knitted student body with a variety of academic and extracurricular clubs enriches the already lively student life available. I was personally interested to perform in 'dhamaka' group present on campus that performs Indian dances which I like the most about my culture and I would love to continue this aspect of my life even in an international college. In all UPenn would provide an experience that would not only serve my rigor academic pursuit but also would enrich my personality that would be socially interactive and participative.

Sanchit, stop trying to insert your theories and concepts about Economics in this essay and just focus your attention the simple matter of the methods by which you will increase your academic and intellectual capacity at the school. Talk about this in general terms. Do not deviate by relating events that happened in a cinema, nor your high school studies. You are making an essay that should not be this long and complicated exactly that. Let me draft a sample response based upon your original work that you can use as a template for your revision. The example I drafted can be finalized on your end for use. Polishing of the grammar and other simple problems will be all that is needed to put the essay into final usable form. I don't suggest adding more information to it because you have a habit of wandering when discussing and bringing in irrelevant topics.

Economics demands practical involvement. That is why I find it imperative to pursue such a practical oriented subject in a university that values the education received outside. UPenn's extra emphasis on primary research is a testament to the practical academic curriculum that it follows. I can't help but to visualize myself on a bright sunny day, distributing my surveys on the Locust Walk to students, who are already very accustomed to such traditions. With its limitless opportunities to get involved in the corporate environment through specialized internship programs, UPenn will be the most suitable architect of the corporate career that I envision.

At UPenn I can undertake a unique opportunity to pursue economics as my major in the college of Arts and Sciences with a minor in Behavioral Economics at the Wharton school. I am particularly interested in Proffesser Rakesh Vohra words "some interesting problems sometimes cut across different disciplines", I don't want to miss the academic adventure UPenn provides and thus consider it as a priority college that I find as a perfect fit for my academic interests.

Apart from my academics, the inter-active community of the social IVY is not only appealing but reassuring because of the interconnected intellectually stimulating lifestyle that I wish to pursue in college. I was personally interested in the 'dhamaka' group present on campus that performs Indian dances and introduces the students to a different set of cultures and traditions through their performances.

UPenn would provide an experience that would not only serve my rigorous academic pursuits but also enrich my intellect and personality thourgh social interaction and participation.

okay.. vangiespen looking forward to your redrafted essay, i really appriacitate the time you have spared for reviewing my essay thanks alot!!