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Defeated ego (undergraduate essay)



Momovich 1 / 1  
Oct 11, 2024   #1
Please write the personal statement with a focus on what you learned from and felt during curricular and/or extracurricular activities (up to three) to which you attached meaning and devoted yourself in high school.(within 1500 characters/200words) (Required)

Throughout my teenage years, I practiced judo, following a family tradition of grapplers. Initially, I joined the club due to family pressure, as wrestling was a generational legacy. While I wasn't particularly interested in competing, the competitiveness of my friends pushed me to appreciate and love the sport even more. Despite my best efforts, I didn't win a match until 8th grade.

The frustration of constant failure, even after a year of intense training, took its toll. I remember stepping onto the tatami feeling confident, only to freeze once the match began, resulting in another early loss. That moment broke me. I was angry, disappointed, and felt utterly defeated. My coach urged me to step up and mature, which made me realize my issue wasn't a lack of training but an inflated ego. I had fooled myself into thinking I was ready.

From then on, I shifted my mindset. I no longer trained just to hit milestones. I trained until the word "enough" no longer existed for me. I learned that true success comes from genuine love and dedication to one's craft. The outcome was life-changing. Now, I'm committed to my goals with relentless effort, always giving my best in everything I do

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15465  
Oct 12, 2024   #2
You need to edit the word count for this essay. You have to bring it down to 200 or less words since you currently have 203 words written. I cannot do that for you because content editing is a separate paid service at this forum. Additionally, only you can rephrase the presentations in a manner that will keep the meaning of the sentence as you wish to transmit it to the reviewer.

Focusing on Judo as the main topic for this discussion, you avoided the pitfalls that come with trying to discuss 3 activities. You were able to successfully explain your mindset in relation to the explanation requirement. However, you have some punctuation errors or missing punctuation marks that you need to fix when you edit the essay,


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