Please give me feedback. I don't think i answered the question properly.
Describe how you will use your Purdue education to achieve your personal and professional goals
I come from Nigeria, a country that in many ways still lags behind in the field of science and technology. Growing up, it was always interesting to see new and amazing technologies in western movies and television programmes years before they became available in my country. Whenever I travelled abroad during the summer holidays, I was simply awed how much more technology was available to the public in the developed world. Fewer people went to bookstores because it was easier to order books online. Cars had GPS systems so it was easy to get directions to any place. I thought to myself, "Wow! We really are behind in Nigeria. Our cars don't have cars with GPS systems and online shopping is not even an option."
I became inspired to want to help improve the technological state of my country. I knew that the path I took in life could have a huge positive impact on my country if I really wanted it to. I began to research into courses that might help me achieve my goals. That was how I discovered Computer Science. It is my dream to use a degree in Computer Science as a platform to revolutionize the technological state of my country. I believe being admitted to Purdue and being able to study computer science there would equip me with enough knowledge in my field as to take back home and do something with it.
In recent years, there has been a brain drain on my country. Young Nigerians have left the country to acquire skills in developed countries only to settle there due to the better quality of life they enjoy. If Nigeria is to move forward, it needs more skilled individuals who genuinely wish to utilize their talents so that progress. I believe that studying a major such as computing and information technology in Purdue's school of Engineering would put me in a position to help my country grow in different aspects- business, commerce, manufacturing, communication and transportation- and it is inspiring to think that mine and future generations could be better off for it.
Though you clearly mention your personal goal, you say nothing about how Purdue helps you achieve your it. Your essay still makes sense even if you replace "Purdue" with "UC" for exaple. You need to research Purdue engineering program more in depth and think about what unique points of it helps reach your future goal.