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"difficult situations to test" - Vires, Artes, Mores, FSU addmission essay


saco 1 / 6  
Sep 20, 2009   #1
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

For one to honestly say she is strong, one must encounter difficult situations to test her determination and spirit. The cliché "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger" comes to life in my circumstance. For one to truly fathom strength, she must also understand vulnerability.

Two years ago I was the opposite representation of what "Vires" signifies. I was weak, morally loose, and had little understanding of the world out side of my egotistical views. Then I was forced to grow up.

I had a pretty typical childhood with loving parents and a beautiful little brother. My mom and dad gave me everything I ever wanted and more, unfortunately I took them for granted. I received a call one day that changed my life; I found out that my mother cheated on my dad. I was hit with a plethora of emotions; a hurricane of hatred, pain, and anguish tore at my heart and stomach. My picturesque family had been shattered. I thought I would never be able to live through this: my dad was left a broken man, my mothers face was filled with remorse, my little brother was living proof that ignorance is bliss, and I was left alone and bewildered. For the next few weeks I carried this burden on my shoulders, I didn't want to confide in anyone with this horrible family secret nor did I want to discuss it with either of my parents. Then I realized I had to confront this crisis. The only way my family and I could get through this; is if we did it together. My mom and I had an abiding conversation and she shared with me her perspective and how hard these past few months had been on her. At that point I realized her hardships, I apprehended her feelings as though they were my own, and I accepted as well as forgave her mistake.

is what i have so far..im not sure if i should just add some on and say how this had made me strong and then conclude, or if i should talk about another situation that made "vires" a parrt of my life..this is 319 words and i can only use 500

Llamapoop123 7 / 442  
Sep 20, 2009   #2
^Kill the first paragraph and start with this.
OP saco 1 / 6  
Sep 20, 2009   #3
but then it doesnt relate to the prompt..
Llamapoop123 7 / 442  
Sep 20, 2009   #4
Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

^This experience shows your vires without the first paragraph. You don't need to write a paragraph about strength in order for your essay to be topical. The first paragraph is a huge setback for this essay.
OP saco 1 / 6  
Sep 20, 2009   #5
okay so after i take out the first paragraph should i expand on this idea or add another incidence?

and Elenna do you think i should take out the first paragraphs because i like them?
Llamapoop123 7 / 442  
Sep 20, 2009   #6
okay so after i take out the first paragraph should i expand on this idea or add another incidence?

^Don't do it!!! lol
You have an excellent (excellent as in interesting) topic to expand on. Tell us about how you came to understand your mother's choices.

Tell us about the strength it took to piece back your family.
OP saco 1 / 6  
Sep 20, 2009   #7
haha dont take out the first paragraph or dont add another topic?
OP saco 1 / 6  
Sep 20, 2009   #9
For one to honestly say she is strong, one must encounter difficult situations to test her determination and spirit. The cliché "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger" comes to life in my circumstance. For one to truly fathom strength, she must also understand vulnerability.

I received a call one day that changed my life; I found out that my mother cheated on my dad. I was hit with a plethora of emotions; a hurricane of hatred, pain, and anguish tore at my heart and stomach. My picturesque family had been shattered. I thought I would never be able to live through this: my dad was left a broken man, my mother's face was filled with remorse, and my little brother was living proof that ignorance is bliss; I was left alone and bewildered. For the next few weeks I carried this burden on my shoulders. I didn't want to confide this horrible family secret in anyone, nor did I want to discuss it with either of my parents.

Then I realized I had to confront this crisis. The only way my family and I could get through this; is if we did it together. My mom and I had a heartfelt conversation and she shared with me her perspective and how hard these past few months had been on her. At that point I realized her hardships, I apprehended her feelings as though they were my own, and I accepted as well as forgave her mistake. I could see how lonesome she had felt, she opened her heart to this man, and for once in a long time someone seemed to understand, to listen. I could see how this genuine friendship could blossom into something else, something more. They were just two souls looking for compassion. When my mother and I talked it was as though our hearts connected, there was no judgment, no repentance, only love. Parts of myself were exposed as well, matters, that weeks earlier I would never have imagined discussing with my mother, were in clear display. When she spoke I felt as though she gave words to the feelings that I could not express. She helped me gain understanding of the world out side of my egotistical views.

aggghhh brain fart after this..im not sure if i should keep elaborating or conclude
OP saco 1 / 6  
Sep 21, 2009   #10
i would also like to add "Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom" some where in the conclusion
do you think that applies?
pcvrz34g 22 / 117  
Sep 21, 2009   #11
The only way my family and I could get through this; iswas if we did it together.

I could see how lonesome she had felt, she opened her heart to this man, and for once in a long time someone seemed to understand, to listen.

something about that sounds awkward... I don't know why. I think it's a run-on sentence.

I say conclude. It sounds as if you're already done with the summary of the situation, but if there's more to the story that the readers don't know about, continue. I dont think the "Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom" really applies in this situation... but use your creative juice. Maybe it can! (:


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