Please feel free to leave comments. This is my first draft. I'm so confused. I don't have any good idea.
Please provide a Personal Statement regarding how your academic achievements, personal interests, and life experiences have helped prepare you to succeed academically and to be an active member of the UC community. Be sure your response addresses each of the three components. (Please limit your response to approximately 250 words).
I believe I won't have many difficulties living in an English speaking environment. English is not only just a foreign language to me; it's a joy, a hobby, a passion. I've been studying English since 2nd grade, right after I knew how to read and write my mother language. I've taken a lot of extra classes and attended many English camps with teachers from US, UK etc. In my junior year I was one of the five students to represent our school competed in an English contest for honor students between three districts.
Getting used to American culture and lifestyle is another thing I am not very worry about. I am currently living in Illinois as a foreign exchange student. This trip has been giving me many useful experiences about the US. My host mom taught me how to spend money wisely, which store has better prices, how to cook and what college life will be like. I got used to foods here and even though I am still not a big fan of fast food, I think I will survive well my college years with noodles, frozen dinners etc. I also learned how to spend time wisely. My knowledge about America and my English skill were improved considerably.
I am sociable person, I love being and interacting with people. I also hope to contribute Vietnam's ancient culture to UC diverse community.
I am confident with my capabilities and looking forward to become a part of UC .I believe I will be an member and help making our community diverse and energetic.
I believe I won't ---don't believe I'll have many difficulties living in an English speaking environment.
English is not only just a foreign language to me; it's a joy, a hobby, a passion.
In my junior year I was one of the five students to chosen to represent our school when we competed in an English contest for honor students between three districts.
Getting used to American culture and lifestyle is another thing I am not very worried about.
My knowledge about America and my English skills have improved considerably.
I am a sociable person, I love being with, and interacting with people.
I am confident in my capabilities and am looking forward to becoming a part of UC.
I believe I will be a---?- -- member and help making our community diverse and energetic.
:)
Language barrier is the first thing I am not very worry about.English for me is not only a foreign language but also a passion and a hobby. I started studying English since second grade, right after I knew the basics of my mother language. Throughout school years I've pursuit this passion by studying, taking extra classes and attending camps with teachers from Eng speaking countries .In junior year I was among the five students representing our school competed in a Regional English contest for honor students .
Cultural and lifestyle dissimilarity, I believe, won't burden me either . Currently I am living in Illinois as an exchange student. This trip has given me many useful insights about the US. Living in a dynamic society taught me to save and use time wisely. I learned how to spend money judiciously through bargain hunting because the cost of living here is much higher than in Viet Nam.I became a less picky eater and knew how to cook.My English skills were sharpened and my knowledge about America improved considerably.
I am a sociable person; I enjoy being around and interacting with people. As a Vietnamese I hope to contribute to UC's cultural diversity through my country's unique culture.
I am confident with my capabilities and looking forward to becoming a part of UC .I believe I will be an active member and help making our community varying and energetic .
ANyone ?
You need more commas as you have so many run-on sentences. You need a connection between the first and second paragraph. You may say something like "My English skill has helped me to adapt the environment here quicker, so dissimilarities in culture and lifestyle won't be a burden to me. In facts, I enjoyed it..."
_Even if you are exchange student, you should not say "this trip".
_It would be better if you say "The time I spent there (Illinois)..."
_Before "Living....", add "For examples,..."
_It's "Vietnam", not "Viet Nam"
_ You don't need this "because the cost of living here is much higher than in Viet Nam"
_"My English skills were sharpened and my knowledge about America improved considerably." This sentence has no relationship with others previous ideas. You need a few sentences in between or break it down to another paragraph.
_"I believe I will be an active member and help making our community varying and energetic ." => counter example? proofs? You did not mention anything about this during your essay, why would you put it at the end? If you want to keep it, add something else, more, to the third paragraph.
I'm struggling with college essay, too. I'm not good at fixing my own, but my picky characteristics allow me an adequate skill to fix others'
Hope you don't mind.
