Doing School by Denise Pope--Students are caught up in a "grade trap"

Any feedback appreciated!

What is your favorite fiction or non-fiction work (film / book / television show / album / poem / play)? Why?

Last year my Calculus teacher recommended me to read,"Doing School" by Denise Pope. Pope talks about her research at Faircrest High where she discovers that students only care about their GPA and do not learn for the sake of learning. The book became my all-time favorite because as a student I was able to relate. Students in high school, like myself, can be caught up about earning an A and simply memorize what is provided to them. Reading this book allowed to see learning from a larger perspective. When I go to college I want to listen to my professors and deeply understand what I am being taught, instead of thinking about what will pop up on my exams. I believe that learning should be a combination of knowledge, creativity, experience, engagement, and even having fun. I believe that learning should extend beyond the classroom, like Pope emphasizes.

You essay is good, you could talk more about how this film affects for your high school study.

Mualla, I am starting to think that you don't need my help anymore. The essays you have been turning out are very well developed and thought out. I think I accidentally create a monster here ! Hahaha! It is refreshing to read an essay from you that does not circle on your choice of majors as a topic for discussion. Excellent work choosing a work of fiction that could have real life parallelisms. As you said, you could identify with the discussion set forth in the book and clearly understood its deeper meaning. I think that it would be best if you don't say "When I go to college..." in the essay. Instead, offer an insight about how the book has helped you become a well balanced high school student who knows how to prioritize studies while not sacrificing relaxation and personal time. Explain the relevance of the realization who you were before you read the book and after you read the book. I know, the word count. Try to write a totally new response to the prompt that focuses on the portions I highlighted above. See if that will help you draft a better version of the response. I'll be here to help. Just sound the alarm!