In an essay of 300 words or less, explain your motivation to transfer from your current/previous institution and how your academic interests and/or professional goals will be fulfilled in your intended program of study.
For as long as I can remember, I've always loved to build, and I've always loved to dream. To me, the two are not independent things. I am a frequent lucid dreamer and I would be the first to admit that I get my best ideas in my dreams. It is something that comes naturally to me. I remember becoming the "mechanic/engineer" for my family and friends from about the age of 8, the age by which I had become strong enough to hammer a nail. Whether it was enhancing my bicycle or trying to make a simple control line electric motor powered aircraft or dreaming of ways to control robots on Mars, my passion has always been in building constructively.
I am particularly motivated to learn about mechanical engineering, and I dream of becoming the best by learning from the best. That is my inspiration to transfer to the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
My family moved to the U.S from India about two year ago and starting college at the *** proved to be the right decision for me. *** gave me the opportunity to be a full-time student and still work close to 36 hours, decreasing the financial burden of the move on my family. After two years at ***, I believe UIUC is the next stop on my journey to achieve my dream.
In the near future, I plan on continuing my education and having a Masters degree in either the field of nanomechanics or robotics. No other university in Illinois offer such a strong focus in these areas as UIUC. In the long run, I dream on being an innovator-inventor like my hero Nikola Tesla who improves the lives of people around the world. I believe UIUC, with their strong emphasis on R&D, has the academic resources to equip me for achieving these dreams.
I believe it is important to be a dreamer to become an achiever. I also believe that the future already exists in the minds of today's engineers. To bring the future today is why I dream of attending UIUC.
Thanks for reading guys! It is my first time on EF. Right now this is 351 words and I intend on bringing it down to 320-330 words. I know the prompt says 300 but I read some of the blogs from their admission officers on their site that said that they don't mind having a little bit spillover for the sake of clarity. The * are for protecting my privacy.The name of the community college goes there. Please be as brutal as you can on the punctuations, grammar and the general feel. I intend on submitting the best essay :P
Woops I found two mistakes myself
about two years ago
dream of being an innovator-inventor
My family moved to the U.S from India about two year ago, and starting college at the *** proved to be the right decision for me.
After two years at ***, I believe UIUC is the next stop on my journey to achieving my dream.
No other university in Illinois offers such a strong focus in these areas as UIUC does .
In the long run, I dream of being an innovator-inventor like my hero Nikola Tesla, who improves the lives of people around the world.
To bring the future (to?) today is why I dream of attending UIUC.
This is pretty great! Good luck with school and have fun!
:)
Hi :)
....I plan on continuing my education and havingobtaining a Masters degree in either the field of nanomechanics or robotics. (I think you should decide upon a single degree to mention in your essay - either Nanomechanics or Robotics)
....Nikola Tesla who improvesimproved the lives of people around the world.
Good Luck!
Thanks Susan and Athena
I made the changes mentioned above. Cant believe I missed them. :(
Sure am glad that I posted the essay here. BTW I asked a friend to proofread it and he said that I overdid the whole "dream" thing. He said that it sounded too ambitious and unrealistic. I wanted to know if you guys feel the same. Do I need to tone it down or is this the right feel?
, I've always loved to build, and I've always loved to dream
This is really repetitive. It is your 1st sentence, you need to get the readers attention and try not to repeat yourself.
