If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first-year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)
Since my earliest childhood, I have developed a keen interest in computers and how they function. When I was 8 years old, I learnt how to design web pages using HTML and create graphic designs using Adobe Photoshop through self-teaching. I enjoy problem solving and logical thinking which makes Computer Science much more fascinating.
Studying at Duke will give me the opportunity for me to be part of the next generation of global leaders and technological innovators. I see Duke as a hub to learn new things, experience new adventures, to think about the world as my playground and challenge myself to make newfangled discoveries. A Duke education will give me the right tools to achieve my dreams of becoming a computer scientist and make a positive impact in the world at large.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15466 Mubarak, don't use the reference to the self taught web page development when you were 8. That story does not carry a compelling reason for your to opt to try to gain a student slot at Duke. Instead, use the second paragraph as your opening statement because it directly responds to the prompt. It would be best if you just develop a new secondary paragraph that will also help to better deliver reasons as to why you chose Duke. Try to find a unique reason that had you decide that only Duke could help you gain the kind of knowledge and insight in Computer Science because of specific interests that you have in the field of learning computer science. Try to avoid generic and generalized statements as you have now. Be specific about what attracted you to this major and to Duke in particular.
@Osiremiza99
The first para is ok, it talks about your interest in computer science.
however, the second one is too general. it can be virtually apply to any other college out there. the important thing you should discuss is "Whether you and Duke fit?, which means you will not be able to fulfill your dream at any other college. try to do some more thorough research, and find some detail that other students will not be able to tell, find some special connection between you and duke.
@Osiremiza99
I agree with Holt. Try to do some research on Duke's website on why that institution is the right fit for you. Perhaps mention some programs that will pique your intellectual curiosity/allow you to participate in them so that you can grow as an engineer. The more specific the better, so don't shy away from mentioning the exact name of the program or the name of the professor who's work interests you.
If you are applying to the Trinity College of Arts & Sciences as either a first-year or transfer applicant, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something particular about Duke that attracts you? (150 words maximum)
One of my major attractions to Duke is The Thompson Writing Program. I am an avid writer and participating in this program will give me an unbelievable opportunity to develop my writing skills and expand the horizon of my creative thought. I can't wait to join the community of dedicated intellectuals like me who are proud of their skin and economic background at Black Student Alliance. I would also love to join Ogechi in the Africa Conversations Club and find solutions to the current challenges we face in Africa today.
I love the fact that Duke is a liberal arts college because this will give me the opportunity to receive exposure from a wide range of academic subjects including the arts while I am majoring in my field of Computer Science. I'm not only interested in Duke because of its prestigious national ranking or low student to faculty ratio. I'm interested in Duke because of the unbelievable opportunities given to undergraduates to partake in ground-breaking research. I want to collaborate with my new friends and scientists on avant-garde research. Studying at the Trinity College of Arts and Science will give me the right tools to achieve my dreams of becoming a computer scientist and making a positive impact the world over. I want to become a Blue Devil at Duke.
I am currently on 220 Words. Kindly help me revise my essay, thank you very much
Hi Mubarak, you school in Lekki?
To get your essay below the word limit you will have to eliminate some sentences and for others try to find a word that will explain exactly in a concise form what you really mean.
Like on your second paragraph you can begin by writing: I love the fact that I can explore various courses of interest at Duke while I major in computer science. That gives your first sentence a 19 word count instead of 40(as you have above).
Writing about their national ranking is an unnecessary detail instead approach it like this: I am interested in Duke because of the amazing research opportunities available to undergraduates.
I can't revise your essay for you because we have to keep your voice in the essay. Use my suggested approach above to cut down on words and let your essay appear with a sure voice and not seem to appear like listing bullet points.
I hope to read your revised response.
P.S. I guess you are already close to the deadline for submitting your application? Don't get caught up with the frenzy. I advice you to submit your application at least 5days to deadline in case you have problems submitting, there will be enough time to rectify that.
@Holt
Thanks again for your expert perusal. God bless you. Kindly help me revise my essay
