Emory rollercoaster ride (Hulk) short answer

Hi. I need advice on this short answer I just wrote. Thanks!
prompt: What is your favorite ride at the amusement park? How does this reflect your approach to life?
answer:
My life is like the rollercoaster "Hulk" in Orlando. There are constantly ups and downs that I can never foresee. These turns constantly catch me when I am least expecting it, thus completely changing my mental state of mind. In fact, there are times when I feel overwhelmed by the speed of life, thus giving me "butterflies" in my stomach. To top it all off, just when I think I cannot get lower, there is another dip in my life. Yet, after what seems like days, I fight to pull myself back up. Slowly I get to the point when I am at the peak of my game; this is the time when I feel invincible. Life all of a sudden looks like a straight path, yet there is another dramatic fall and sometimes a complete 360 degree turnaround. It seems like a never ending cycle.

Yet, in its totality, this ride has helped to shape my personal outlook. Though I may not be able to see what will happen to me in the next couple of days or years, I will continue to have my seat belt buckled, ready for another year of life.

Yeah, not really sure if this is any good. Suggestions?

This is good, but it can use some more details.
Can you please check my Emory requirement out?

There are constant ups and downs that I can never foresee.
Use specific examples from your life to help make the essay stronger.

This sentence sounds a bit unemotional, I don't know. I suggest something like this:

Slowly I get to the point where I am at the peak of my game; I feel invincible! However, just when life begins to look like a straight path to me, there is another dramatic fall and sometimes even a complete 360 degree turnaround.

I think it's a great answer; roller-coaster is a good metaphor of life. But I think you should elaborate more on how it reflects your approach to life. I agree with Tom, add some examples from your life so that it would be more personal.

Good luck:)

"The beast" SHORT answer re-written

So, I decided to completely re-write the emory essay. The word requirement is "less than 250 words" and I am at 239. Let me know what you think. I kinda just wrote this in the last 4 minutes, but I think it has potential. Thanks!

prompt: What is your favorite ride at the amusement park? How does this reflect your approach to life?

My heart starts to pound and my palms become sweaty. I have been looking at this ride for years, and the time to ride on this monster has come. I quietly stare out into the sky, looking at the birds above me. The line then begins to move and I slowly approach the man in charge who checks to see if I have met the height requirements. I cross my fingers, hoping to be sent back to my parents, but to no avail. 5 minutes pass and I can hardly stand to look at the convoluted ride. 10 minutes pass and I cannot believe I am putting myself through this agony. 15 minutes pass and I can barely breathe.

It is now my turn and I take a seat on the infamous "Hulk". My feet are dangling and I feel alone. Quickly, the ride takes off and goes higher and higher. I close my eyes and spread my arms wide open. I fly. I start off by swooping down to the ground level and then burst back up to the clouds. Then I do this again and again until my mind is in peace.

The ride quickly ended and I sit there flabbergasted. I had feared this ride for years in my childhood, but, at that moment, I embraced the beast. I found courage in myself that day, which, as a result, has defined who I am today.

That's it. Also, do you think I answered the prompt fully? Thanks!!!

Has the Hulk become your favorite ride? Or are you just happy that you overcame your fear of riding it? That would be my only comment, since the prompt does say "your favorite ride." Otherwise I love the way it's written and the imagery is great!

Maybe consider more specifics about the ride? a lot of rides have ups and downs, is there anything that sets this one apart? idk that might be an impossible task. hahah maybe play off the ride's name?

i feel like ur connection between the ride and life is too blurred...sometimes i was reading and wasnt sure if you were speaking of the ride or an aspect of your life. maybe a sentence about the ride, then a connection to life for each part would add structure

did the two of you read my new one? MY new thread and old thread merged... (just making sure)