Think of this as not just a letter to a future roommate, but a college application essay. While you should take a light tone, you still want to show the school why you would be a good fit. What do you want the school to know about you? What attributes can you hit on within the word count?
These are just my own thoughts and opinions, but I'll break it down a little and show you how I might or approach the essay or what my perceptions might be:
When someone says to describe myself in 1800 characters, I think why am I wasting space by writing an intro? So, instead of citing off activities on my resume surrounded by lavish adjectives in sentences, I concocted a sparknotes version of me that would provide pragmatic when forced to share four walls together.
For telling us you aren't going to give an introduction, this is an awful long one! There are a lot of character used here without getting into the meat of the essay. Talk about yourself much, much sooner and let the fluff fall to the wayside. There are grammatical errors here that don't give the best first impression. You will also want to avoid any negative aspects like "forced to share four walls." Even if you aren't excited about dorm living and you have never had to share a room in your life, this isn't the place to complain.
While chocolate is a woman's best friend, it is my taste buds worst enemy.
Something of this sort is fine. It doesn't take up too many characters and it shows a quirk. Having just watched an episode of Dirtiest Jobs
, I am sure that chocolate wouldn't be your worst
enemy, but the hyperbole works here. Watch the grammar. You need a possessive apostrophe there.
I can not jog more than a mile without thinking there is a serial killer chasing me.
I know what you are saying here, but the reader could think that this sentence means that running makes you paranoid--after the mile mark, you start hallucinating about serial killers. This is fine--it doesn't cost too many characters. Running would be construed as a positive trait for a potential student as it helps to blow off steam and increases physical fitness. You would need to rework your sentence though.
The only way I can stay up past midnight is to put on music and dance as if there is an earthquake violently shaking my body, my arms flailing in every direction. I love to break awkward silences with some of my signature jokes.
Okay, more quirks. As it stands, you have a list of idiosyncrasies, but you still haven't told the school about your positive traits. Imagine going into a job interview and saying, "I don't like chocolate, I hallucinate when I run, and I flail when I dance." And then when there is an awkward silence, you could ask, "Wanna hear one of my signature jokes?" I am not trying to pick on you, but I do want to point out that this is more like a job application than a Craiglist ad for a roomie.
I have an addiction that rehab can not cure: reading. Even now, my hands incessantly find their way back to the pages of My Sister's Keeper.
Here you go. You are getting more to attributes that play into the ability to be a successful student. These sentences are a little awkward. I don't think I would list a particular book--especially one from pop culture. The thought of your hands incessantly finding their way to the books' pages is an odd mental image. Unless the book is in Braille, I don't think of the hands as being overly engaged with the page while reading.
One stereotype that I admit falling into is an Asian, woman driver-able to do triple integrals, yet can't make a turn without endangering lives.
Like Kevin, I find this funny. I have a friend who hit a car at a stop light. She backed up and was afraid that she backed up too far so she pulled forward again--hitting the car a second time. She is offended when we tell her that she is the stereotypical Asian woman driver. I like this sentence. It shows that you are comfortable with math and can laugh at yourself.
If there was one physical appearance I could change about myself, it would be my hair. People have compared it to as big as a lion's mane, yet as coarse as a horse's tail. I have engendered a love for fashion while working at a clothing store.
This ia all stuff that I would delete to make room for other characters. Physical appearance and love for fashion isn't something that Stanford will be looking at when making its decision. You run the risk of the reader thinking that you are superficial. Use those characters to talk about other traits. You don't have to list your GPA or things of that nature, but let Standford know that you are considerate, easy going, open to new experiences and new people, and eager to be a part of the college community. Use the space to showcase your humor, but do it in a way that makes the characters count. If there is something in the essay that doesn't speak to your ability to be a successful student at Stanford, cut it to make room for things that will.