hi! I need help editing this especially for grammar! Thank you
If there is something you think would be beneficial for the Admissions Committee to know as we review your academic history, please take this opportunity to explain.
Difficulties in the past year during second semester, in which my dad was in the hospital for a sudden, life- threatening disease, Steven Johnson's Syndrome, impaired my efforts for optimal grades. The doctor warned us of the criticality of his state, with his sloughing skin, swollen eyes and, external and internal bleeding; that the risk of fatality was high. My mom and I therefore visited him every night for a month when he was in the Intensive Care Unit. We would watch over him late afternoon until the hospital closed and then arrive home at midnight. It was difficult to suddenly see my dad in such a state without warning. It was just as difficult to see my mom, the strongest person I know, restless, weak, and drained of hope. I felt that if my mom, whom I have looked up to all my life, had no hope left, need I? Late nights and distracted days at school took a toll on my junior year GPA. It was difficult accepting my grades at the end of the year because I knew they did not reflect what I could have achieved. However, as I look back today, I would never exchange one minute I had spent looking after my dad and mom for anything. Simply lying next to my dad and whispering in his ear to be strong, day after day until he finally recovered in the summer, was what I consider a greater achievement than my GPA.
If there is something you think would be beneficial for the Admissions Committee to know as we review your academic history, please take this opportunity to explain.
Difficulties in the past year during second semester, in which my dad was in the hospital for a sudden, life- threatening disease, Steven Johnson's Syndrome, impaired my efforts for optimal grades. The doctor warned us of the criticality of his state, with his sloughing skin, swollen eyes and, external and internal bleeding; that the risk of fatality was high. My mom and I therefore visited him every night for a month when he was in the Intensive Care Unit. We would watch over him late afternoon until the hospital closed and then arrive home at midnight. It was difficult to suddenly see my dad in such a state without warning. It was just as difficult to see my mom, the strongest person I know, restless, weak, and drained of hope. I felt that if my mom, whom I have looked up to all my life, had no hope left, need I? Late nights and distracted days at school took a toll on my junior year GPA. It was difficult accepting my grades at the end of the year because I knew they did not reflect what I could have achieved. However, as I look back today, I would never exchange one minute I had spent looking after my dad and mom for anything. Simply lying next to my dad and whispering in his ear to be strong, day after day until he finally recovered in the summer, was what I consider a greater achievement than my GPA.
