I feel that my modesty makes me approachable to everybody

Which attribute of your personality u r proud of and has has it impacted your life?

I often get from people around me that I underestimate myself . Although a few around me understand that its not underestimation but modesty.
Being modest, I'm kept away from getting cocky about my achievements,however big or small. Not getting cocky makes sure I do not get overconfident.

And not getting overconfident means that I remain ever diligent about my work. Each time I work on something, the enthusiasm is like that of a novice.

This makes sure that I put in my 100% in what I'm doing. The modesty also helps me maintain a harmonious coexistence with my less achieving peers and teammates.

When I led my school team to victory in the regional and national science exhibitions two years back, my pride as a team but modesty as an individual made us looked upon with appreciation and not envy.

Last week,when the SAT results were out, I had the privilege of being one in the two of us at school to achieve a perfect 2400 in the subject tests at the first shot.

Deep below I was happy and proud but on the outside, I was calm. Not being hyped and arrogant about it, I didn't receive many negative vibes and wasn't looked upon as a snob(Sadly,this wasn't the case with the other guy).

I feel that modesty makes me approachable to everybody. It makes sure that I'm one in many and at the same time one among many. This is what makes me proud.

word limit-250 words

PLz help with any better choice of words,gramattical errors or anything that could enhance the quality of this essay. :)

WOW! 2400 is great!
Overall, I think the topic & theme are great.
Make sure you add more specific event to show your diligent manner :)

Hello,

Your topic here [modesty] is great. However, using the word cocky in an admissions essay is not advisable. Furthermore, you go on to negate yourself be secretly being "Cocky.". Harmonious coexistence with my less achieving peers and teammates, 2400 SAT on first shot, [leading] my school team to victory in the regional and national science exhibitions. What you are trying to do is highlight your accomplishments and try to cloak them under the shield of modesty. However, any admissions officer will clearly see what you are doing here. I suggest tackling this from a more emotional point of view. Talk more about how being modest has really impacted your life, both in and out of school and why are you proud of your modesty.

-Admissions Advice Online

Hope this helps

Yes, I do see that happening though unintentionally, now that im at exact 250 words and the essay demands tangible examples. So what would you suggest?

joanna: yeah sure, ill try to attach em, anything u cud recoomend?

get rid of the sat story and use the word count for why your modesty led your team to success

I'm just going to be upfront about this, don't lie on your essays. It's glaringly obvious you didn't get a 2400, your grammar is not very good. You sound like someone whose english is good enough to hold a decent conservation but not the fluency to ace SAT writing and critical reading sections.

Ya my grammar might not be very fine but I stated the 2400 in the SAT subject tests that is Phys,Chem and Math. Not the English and math section.

you talk about modesty, yet mentioning your SAT score (remember, they already know this from the rest of your app) and other accomplishments says otherwise

No offense, but this essay makes me want to throw up... You are writing about how modest you are while you sound like a cocky airhead. This essay is in essence ONE GIANT CONTRADICTION!!! Please write a different essay. Since it is only a 250 word essay that shouldn't be too hard. Submitting an essay like this would have KILLED your chance of getting into MIT. They are crazy selective, the adcom would read the first couple of sentences, laugh, and then throw your application in the trash. Sorry for being so brutal, but this is my opinion.