'Film and movie industry' - Short answer essay response

Please help. Any help is appreciated

Movies have always had this way of drawing me in as if I was a part in the story. The way films unfolded always captured my imagination and has now led me to want a career in the film industry. But knowing the difficulties of establishing myself as a respected screenwriter or director has made me doubt my abilities in film production. It wasn't until I joined my school's video production club, which made me realize I can work in the film industry and someday write or direct great films. Although I joined the club a few months ago with no basic knowledge of film production, I've already established myself as a leader when it comes to filming projects for the club. With every scene I shoot; I learn more about myself, my abilities, and what it takes to work in the industry. This club has given me the confidence to enter this industry without doubts.

Here are some of my suggestions


It wasn't until I joined my school's video production club that I realized my potentials in the film industry...

I would try to rewrite the first two sentences, and somehow combine them into just one. Also try not to start a sentence with "but". Maybe it could be like this. "Knowing the difficulties of establishing..., however, has made me doubt..."

Also try to work on the conclusion/last sentence. The club has given you the confidence to embark on this career path. You're not, I assume, ready to "enter the industry" yet. If you were, you wouldn't be applying for college now.

That's what I think, and good luck to wherever you're applying too :)