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"My First Band Experience" - Vires, Artes, Mores, FSU Essay



nakama 1 / -  
Oct 24, 2010   #1
This is the prompt: For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

"The Latin word "Artes", or the beauty of intellectual pursuits, is not something that can be taught in the classroom. "Artes", as a skill is something an individual can learn through experience. Crafting my artistic ability can by define as interpreting my skill and incorporating it into my own style. Though my life's experiences, I have found my passion in playing the Alto Saxophone that portrays my skill and artistic ability. Learning music has assisted into crafting my intellectual pursuits skillfully, crafty, and artistically.

Two weeks before the first day of a new school, I had my first band practice. Still wondering why the classes were before the start of academic school, I reluctantly to attend the band ptactices. As I walked into the band class with my Alto Saxophone mouth piece, I heard students playing musical scales, tuning notes, even play current pop songs. I was intimated walking into band practice because my past musical experience did not prepare me for what I saw the day of band practice. All I knew before band practice was a few key notes of the Alto Saxophone and a song called "Hot Cross Buns" This song is was 3 notes out of its rage of 30 notes. After telling the band director that I didn't know how to read the music, I felt I had to do something before I purchased the Alto Saxophone. I went on the internet to learn more about the Alto Saxophone and how to play it, soon after, I purchased an Alto Saxophone.

This was by far the most stressful experience in my life. Teaching myself three years of musical knowledge in one year, only added to the intensity as I became proficient in music. Every weekend I would take out a sheet music and practicing for hours and hours. Even when my tongue starting to have a pulsing pain I would work until I could play the music to my own abilities. At the end of summer band practice I was placed last Alto chair in the band. Despite this pitfall, I never regretted learning the Alto Saxophone and I still play each musical arrangement with intensity and passion.

This experience has taught me that life isn't an easy pathway and there are many challenges in the road of life overcome. Still no matter what happens in life, stick with it because the results might be just what you're looking for. Florida State University has established an extensive history based on tradition and the powerful sense of pride and value that the students and teachers share, which are "Vires, Artes, Mores." The combined three Latin words behind Florida State University make me an ideal student for the university.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Oct 29, 2010   #2
Crafting my artistic ability can by define can be defined as interpreting my skill and incorporating it into my own style. ------- no, the phrase 'crafting my artistic ability' cannot be defined. Only define words. Explain a phrase:

Crafting my artistic ability can by explained as a process of interpreting my skill and incorporating it into my own style.
This is a better sentence, but it does not really make sense. In fact, "Crafting your ability" does not really make sense. "Interpreting my skill" does not make sense. I think you need to simplify this idea you are trying to express.

Learning music has assisted into crafting my intellectual pursuits skillfully, crafty, and artistically.

I think you should cut out the whole first paragraph.
Capitalize Internet

It would be great to start with this sentence:
Two weeks before the first day of a new school, I had my...

Talk about your intentions as a musician at this school you are planning to attend. Do not be so abstract when you discuss your understanding of artes. Express a specific idea at the end of the first paragraph, an idea that you hope will linger in the reader's mind.

:-)


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