"Florence Nightingale laid the foundation of nursing" -NYU Supplement; person

I'm running out time and really need someone to help me out about grammar an ideas.

If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.

Many things go wrong in our world. The earthquake and tsunami in Japan made my heart hurt for those suffer. I would like to become a professional volunteer in disaster with Florence Nightingale who laid the foundation of nursing. She is my role model because she works hard and advocate herself for those ill people. It would be benefit if I can work with her under her supervision by taking care of victims from earthquake and tsunami.

Do you think this idea is too bland? what is the purpose of this question? Thanks everyone for helping.

Add a comma:
with Florence Nightingale, who laid...

...she works hard and advocates for those ill people.

It would benefit me if I could work with her under her supervision by taking care of victims of the earthquake and tsunami.

Great idea! So... you want help figuring out what else to write? If you need to write more, you can discuss how this would help you prepare for the work you plan to do. Are you going into nursing? What will be your specialization? What is your philosophy about nursing? I read about 5 kinds of knowledge (explained by a scholar named Porter): aesthetic, empathetic, emancipatory, empirical, and ethical. This would be a great subject.

Read an article about nursing, and it will give you good ideas!

Most importantly, use this as an opportunity to show the reader how serious you are ande how carefully you are planning your education. Make them feel a sense of obligation to accept you because you have such a well-defined plan.

Thank you for your ideas. I'm really appreciated this.