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'Focus on business and human resources' - Describe the world you come from



mariamalzain 1 / 1  
Nov 12, 2011   #1
Please Revise,
I remember going home after a long day at school, with a bad test grade in my hand, looking for my father. As soon as I saw him he looked at me and smiled, saying, " what's on your mind?" I would sit on his lap and show him the grade with disappointment. He kissed my head and said, "With pressure come diamonds". My father is my role model. With just a high school diploma he managed to build himself and become one of the most well known businessmen in our society. After his father's death he was responsible for taking care of his mother and siblings. He selflessly dropped out of college to start developing his father's jewelry business, which is now considered a leading jewelry company in the Middle East. Since my father owns a jewelry business, I grew up around jewelers. Ever since I was a child my parents made it a priority for my siblings and me to play a role in our family business. By the time I was fifteen I had experienced all there is to experience in a jewelry business, from spending long days in the factory watching the workers manufacture the goods, to admiring my mother's honesty and persuasiveness as she makes deals with the company's clients. By the time I got a real taste of what having a career is, I found myself more interested in and drawn towards the business sector of the company. Although my father has developed a successful business, I always thought that the company lacked a solid management background. The more I realized how essential it is for a company to have a firm management that focuses on business and human resources, the more attracted I felt towards this specific job.

misternuance - / 7  
Nov 13, 2011   #2
" W hat's on your mind?"
With pressure comes diamonds
With just a high school diploma, he managed to build himself and become one of the most well- known businessmen in our society. How?
After his father's death, he was responsible for taking care of his mother and siblings
Ever since I was a child, my parents
By the time I was fifteen, I had experienced

good start
need a solid conclusion
OP mariamalzain 1 / 1  
Nov 13, 2011   #3
Thank you so much for your help! Do you feel like the answer is relevant?
Podolski 1 / 9  
Nov 13, 2011   #4
I think you must explain your father's personality that made him so prominent and thus the trait you inherited from him.

P.S. Help with mine!!!


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