Prompt: An essay is a required part of the application process. This essay should distinguish you as a unique candidate for admission. For example, you may want to provide information on the personal experiences that have shaped your academic abilities, or give us a more thorough insight on your exceptional achievements. The information you provide in the essay will be considered in the admission decision so please provide information that sets your candidacy as unique. Include in your essay the reason why you have selected your major and why it is important for you to attend TAMUQ.
Any suggestions will be helpful
With his great intellect, and gifted ability to visualize and improve designs in his mind Nikola Tesla was able to revolutionize the world through his elaborate work on electricity and wireless technology. He was so far ahead of his time that he was working on ideas, such as a mean of renewable clean energy to power the world, to solve problems which we face today. Fascinated by his inventions, I decided to pursue a career in engineering. In high school, my interest in climate change and renewable energy solutions grew. This interest and my goal to follow Nikola Tesla's footsteps lead me to join the Environmental Engineering program at the Middle Eastern Technical University.
One of the main factors of each Nikola Tesla's creation was that they were aimed at improving the living conditions of mankind. To gain a better understanding of the problems the underprivileged faced, I became an active member of Akhuwat, a non-governmental organization working for the alleviation of poverty by providing interest free loans, I have had the opportunity to work with the poor and marginalized sections of the society. To have interacted with such people and witnessed their regard and affection for Akhuwat has developed within me a strong sense of social responsibility. I have, since, devoted time and effort to causes ranging from the provision of necessities to those affected by natural disasters in Pakistan to fulfilling the dying wishes of terminally ill children while working with another Pakistani NGO called 'Make a Dream'. As my awareness of the adverse effects of global warming grew, I got involved in activities to improve environmental conditions such as participating in WWF's Mangrove Replantation Program near Karachi, a coastal metropolitan which is under threat of drowning because of rising sea levels. I also organized several awareness campaigns in my city to inform people about the effects of excess carbon emissions and advantages of solar energy solutions. Three years ago, there weren't many platforms for aspiring engineering and scientists to get a practical experience, I and a group of friends decide such a platform. This leaded us to create the Aitchison College Science and Engineering Competition which comprised of challenges involving mathematics, physics, astronomy and robotics. At METU, I joined the robot club and took lessons in basic robotics engineering from senior members. After this I was part of the team that developed a "sun tracker system", a circuit consisting of LDRs and voltage comparators so the solar panels on the vehicle could position themselves for maximum sunlight, for the robot club's solar powered vehicle. All of these and other such experiences taught me leadership skills such as organizing groups, handling crises, time and resource management and teamwork.
After taking courses, talking to professors and participating in engineering activities, I realized I was more interested in machine design than in subjects related to environmental. With this newfound clarity, I decided to join a leading mechanical engineering school, this lead me to Texas A&M Qatar. In recent years I have read books on Islamic culture, history and visited Islamic countries from Turkey to Pakistan. By doing so, I was amazed by the massive contributions Muslims have made to science ranging from understanding light travels in straight line to inventing algebra during the golden era of Islamic scholars. Knowing this created in me a desire to contribute to an effort to usher a new era of advancement in the Islamic world, a desire that Qatar shares and has contributed by setting up Education city. Studying there will give me the chance to interact with the diverse student body from other universities there and develop my ideas. I aim to join clubs including robotics club and archery club to not only improve the skills I have but to also learn new ones. At TAMUQ, I will be able to conduct research on renewable energy generation and utilization ,and contribute to the Qatar Sustainable Water and Energy Utilization Initiative. Studying under professors such as Mansour Karkoub and Hamid Parsaei, I will be able to gain a deeper understanding of robotics and efficient systems to become an useful engineer.
After Texas A&M Qatar, I aim to become a leading engineer and follow Tesla in creating a better world for mankind by solving the most complex problems we face today. Doing so by working for and with people like Elon Musk who are working on complex solutions, to our problems ,like the Hyperloop and spacecraft for transportation to Mars. I have high aspirations to become an engineers whose inventions would benefits others to come for decades and would be an inspiring figure for the next generations of engineers as Nikola Tesla is for me.
Hi Waqas, I must say, it's a very interesting field to begin with, I have always been puzzled with the engineering field and adding the interest in TESLA is quiet overwhelming. Having said that, I'm all in and wish you all the best in this endeavor.
Going back to your essay, I believe the flow of the essay is good, it is like reading your bio in a more creative way and a bio that has a purpose, a very good and strong purpose. Moreover, it is written in a way that the reader know exactly what you are gearing for and the information is kept to a certain standard, a standard where an information is serving a purpose and a story to tel land a dream to come true.
Furthermore, your essay is not only leaning towards the goal of the essay but more importantly to the gradual impact of the chosen field in your decision of pursuing Mechanical Engineering following Tesla.
I hope this insights helps and I wish to see more of your writing.
This Tesla theme is a great idea! Any time a student has a 'hero' who inspires her/him into a professional field, it's persuasive to the reader. Many students just say, "Since I was young, I wanted to study engineering..." but that is generic. You made the essay interesting with this theme.
Right here you repeat it unnecessarily:
As a first step in following Tesla to become an engineer, I started ---- Let's not use these words for this purpose, because the paragraph can start in a stronger way by introducing a new idea. Also get rid of this:
taking interest in mathematics, physics and chemistry to understand the basis of engineeri ng. ---If you want to express this point, give an example of a book you read or a concept you discovered. Specificity makes strong writing! : )
...decided to join a leading mechanical engineering school, this lead me to Texas A&M Qatar. In recent years I have read books on Islamic culture---- this is 'non sequitur', and I don't know if I spelled that correctly but it means "does not follow"... it seems confusing to go from deciding to go to a leading school to the next sentence about Muslim contributions. I think the second sentence of this paragraph should be about some great resources at that school, and some factors that make it the best school for your particular aspirations.
After you write about the school, it's great to write about the culture and religion, etc., as you did here.
Doing I intend to do so by working for ... I made this change because the sentence was incomplete.
Great job, this is already a well-written essay.