[Contributor] - / 7,699 2054
Sharad, your response is good. It showcases how you have grown and developed as a person due to the positive influence of the people whom you spend more time with. You spend more time with your friends rather than your parents and it shows in a positive manner in your writing. You have truly highlighted how these friendships have brought you to another level of confidence and taught you how to trust people. What seems to be lacking in your essay though, is an explanation of how these friendships are important to you coming from the other side. That is, it is important to you because you are also a pillar of strength that your friends lean on when they need help and support. You cannot reduce that to a one liner about how your friend vented about his relationship with father to you. You have to show the reviewer how you help your friends during their times of need as well. Whether it be as a sounding board, an adviser, or a partner in an undertaking. These are the types of facts that will help to develop the importance of your explanation. You could edit the essay content to integrate that reference. Just remove the reference to how your friends introduce you to new interests because those references are a bit shallow and unimportant in the overall presentation.