UBC Personal Profile - A person of Family and Friends

Hello everyone! I need to write a personal profile for UBC admission and I am hoping that anyone could lend me their opinions or advice about my essay. I appreciate your attention and response!

Tell us about who you are.

How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you? If possible, please include something about yourself that you are most proud of and why. (maximum 250 words)

A person with potential to become a leader is what my parents would say about me, someone that's able to sit down in a discussion with family members and giving his arguments about the related issue and help solving the problem, he is willing to teach his sister about her school works and giving everyday advice to her. He's respectful towards another person in which he will always think carefully in what to say and to do to that person.

My friends refer to me as a good listener, an honest person, someone that's not afraid to try something new, and someone with a broad knowledge. They said I am a person that is always nice to talk with whenever they have a problem or anything weighing their chest that they need to get rid of because he is able to understand them wholeheartedly and always have the right thing to say. He is someone that could be trusted because his words are always just the way it is. He's willing to step away from his safe zone and doing anything nobody else would do. He also has a broad knowledge about the world that not many people know, mainly about world history and technology.

Being a good listener is what I am most proud of myself because I could understand what my family or friends are going through and relate to them, it also allows me to give them some advice regarding the situation and brighten up their day.

(Total 250 words)

It's great overall. But I think you can elaborate more on "stepping away from safe zone" because the sentence of that line is basically paraphrasing "trying something new". Hope you get in!