Hi everyone,
I'm applying to NYU and need some advice on this paragraph for the short answer on extracurriculars on the Common App:
"It's become the norm to get caught up in ones little bubble, where your friends' Facebook statuses make up the brunt of news and awareness. A club that disguises worldly causes with art and incorporates an entertainment factor into spreading messages for the greater good, made it clear to me that I had to become a part of COTA to tackle pressing issues, while battling my own demons. Shy by nature, the thought of being in the spotlight did not appeal to me, but appeared to be extremely fun. I made it my goal to overcome my fear of public speaking by participating in the COTA productions. Throughout the past three years, I have worked behind the scenes, as an usher and worked my way up to Treasurer. Joining the Club of the Arts has allowed me to push myself out of my comfort zone and develop myself into the audacious person I am today."
The word limit is 150 or less and this is 155. The sentence in red is bothering me, it's really long and I can't seem to find a way to shorten it. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Oh and feel free to point out anything that just doesn't fit right.
Thanks! :)
I'm applying to NYU and need some advice on this paragraph for the short answer on extracurriculars on the Common App:
"It's become the norm to get caught up in ones little bubble, where your friends' Facebook statuses make up the brunt of news and awareness. A club that disguises worldly causes with art and incorporates an entertainment factor into spreading messages for the greater good, made it clear to me that I had to become a part of COTA to tackle pressing issues, while battling my own demons. Shy by nature, the thought of being in the spotlight did not appeal to me, but appeared to be extremely fun. I made it my goal to overcome my fear of public speaking by participating in the COTA productions. Throughout the past three years, I have worked behind the scenes, as an usher and worked my way up to Treasurer. Joining the Club of the Arts has allowed me to push myself out of my comfort zone and develop myself into the audacious person I am today."
The word limit is 150 or less and this is 155. The sentence in red is bothering me, it's really long and I can't seem to find a way to shorten it. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Oh and feel free to point out anything that just doesn't fit right.
Thanks! :)