Prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Feedback would be highly appreciated, at the current state I'm not too sure on what I have so far..
The tennis court is my second home, a place where I've relentlessly worked hard to push my own limits. There is a property in being a part of the game that has significantly enriched my experience of high school, tennis is a defining aspect of my life. The values of sportsmanship and integrity have been integrated into my own mentality and colors how I go about my days. For me, tennis isn't just for fun, it develops habits and skills that are applicable to life. It has become my passion, addiction, and reward all by itself.
Spending many Summer afternoons on blisteringly hot courts, there was a sheer intrinsic enjoyment in always striving to surpass previous bests. Practice was brutal, yet we were all willing to endure the punishment for our love of the game. The bond I grew with the team is an invaluable object; a united focus and an ultimately insatiable drive for excellence has made me part of a greater whole. It has shown me that it is both fun and rewarding to work together and not be interested in only self-gain. Going into my varsity year, through dedication and perseverance I know my team is completely able to become league champions.
Sadly the sport was not held on a high pedestal by my family or friends. I received countless talks urging me to quit and focus on academics, but without tennis I would have never developed my resiliency and focused goals. With respect, I have been able to shrug off these comments and properly handle my tasks and uphold performance in both my student and athlete life. Most importantly, tennis has taught me to stick to something I love, but not disregard the other responsibilities given to me.
The decision to join the team is one I always cherish. Throughout the ups and downs during my season, I have been repeatedly defeated but I never allowed my drive to falter. I always got back up to practice even more diligently in hope of becoming a greater player. It has given me the initiative to accept nothing less than what my hard work can provide for me and I will go as far as my dedication and will can take me. I may have grandiose goals, but nothing I consider out of my reach.
If I started talking about a certain event, wouldn't that be similar to the second prompt?
"Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?"
None the less thank you for the comment. I should be less general and have more specific-to-me examples.
It has given me the initiative to accept nothing less than what my hard work can provide
This sentence at the end is a repetition of an idea you gave a few times already.. this same idea about it teaching you to work hard and persevere. I think the essay needs a few more subjects added to it.
The world you come from consists of more than tennis, and furthermore the world you come from is only half the essay. The other half of the essay is your "dreams and aspirations." SO.... I think this essay should include more of a look toward your future and less repetition of that simple idea about perseverance... I bet you gained a lot of insights from tennis and other aspects of your world that influenced your aspirations.
:-)
