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Global Liberal Arts - your interests and how you would like to explore those interests.

DIVER 1 / -  
Feb 23, 2023   #1

your interests to study at the College of Global Liberal Arts

Can anyone please give a critic on my application essay? Any grammar corrections or suggestions to improve on will be much appreciated.
Here is the topic:
Describe what your interests are and how you would like to explore those interests as you study at the College of Global Liberal Arts in 200 words

The prospect of being at the forefront of innovative trends is why I wish to pursue the College of Global Liberal Arts. The idea that GLA seeks to redefine traditional liberal arts education by integrating world history into science-based engineering deeply resonates with me. As someone who has a passion for both science and culture, I find GLA's approach to education unique and fitting. I believe ethical decision-making will be important to solve future problems caused by scientific advancements.

GLA's partnership with the Australian National University's dual degree program is particularly appealing to me. The opportunity to study and earn degrees from two prestigious universities while experiencing different cultures is a rare and invaluable opportunity that I cannot pass up. The diverse range of faculty means that I can spend more quality time speaking and working with my professors, with all their expertise and experience. Given these numerous opportunities, I believe that GLA is an outstanding school and I'm excited to potentially spend the next four years at this great institution. Once I graduate, I will apply what I have learned from my college experience to the world at large and will surely owe my success to the university.

(199/200 word count)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,941 4806  
Feb 24, 2023   #2
Your response is actually irrelevant to the writing instructions. You were expected to discuss your technical skills and its development, the basis of your interest in the arts (human form, still images, color intergration, etc.), and how GLA facilities can help you further develop these interests. You do not reflect any interest in the arts as it applies to your actual talent or interests. So that aspect of the response definitely needs to be redeveloped in a more relevant form.

While the university partnership is one reason to pursue education at this university, you are not really showing the screener that you have completely looked into the background of GLA as an educational institution. He needs to be convinced that you have considered the school as a stand alone learning institution. So, what programs of learning, activities, and other considerations, aside from learning partnerships did you consider when deciding this is the university for you?

Develop a 2nd response version. One that reflects the observations I made above. Doing so will bring you on track towards showing the screener that you did use academic, personal, and skills development considerations when you finally decided to apply to the university as a student.

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