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'The Hard Times will begin to fade' - Essay of Your Choice



rathana978 1 / -  
Oct 24, 2012   #1
I just finished my College Essay and I'm not a native speaker so therefore my English grammar is not that great. I just want you guys to fix some of my mistakes. I'm really appreciated.

The Hard Times will begin to fade
It was like running into a brick of wall, an assertive burning sensation in the middle of my chest when the reality hit me in the face that I was a failure. My family and I immigrated to the United States from a war-torn Cambodia in March 2006 without any English language skills and cultural understanding at all. I was 13 years old, but was placed into 5th grade, 3 graders lower than other kids at my age due to my lack of English proficiency. I was among and surrounded by negative people everywhere in school. They would often assail me about my poor accent and broken English language, but with hard work and determination, I had transformed my failure into motivation to succeed in English, in school, and in life.

In school, English was my most difficult subject. I didn't understand most of the materials that I studied and were assigned to me. Students at my school would often make fun of how I spoke in English because it was really funny to them. They laughed at me, "Hahaha, this kid sounds really funny and dumb. Do you know how to speak English?" They asked me even though they knew I had just come from another country. I ignored them and stayed stoic to show them that it didn't bother me a bit. But on the inside, I was wounded like I just got shot in my heart. It was painful knowing that in spite of all those times of sweating and staying up late to study this difficult language, I still had a sense of failure then.

I felt emotionally at the lowest point in my early life experience in my newly adopted country because of those insulting words, discouragement, and alienation. I was on the verge of giving up and accepting the defeat from those bullies. However and overtime, I have developed enough courage, picked up some English language proficiency, made some good friends, got support from my teachers, and then I finally broke through the wall of intimidation, isolation, and bullying. Step by step, my educational activities had improved and my personal vision and ambition had become better and clearer.

Looking back, those who bullied me were a bunch of puck and they were totally surprised to see me excelling in all of my classes including English, my nemesis. That whole experience taught me valuable lessons of hard work and commitment. Hardship is inevitable that everyone has to face at one point in their life, and mine was a valuable experience and memorable. I will treasure it for life. But, look ahead, I want to capitalize on those success and set up my goals bigger and higher so that I can accomplish my dream of becoming the first person in my family to pursue a college education and a professional career in the engineering field.

linmark 2 / 325  
Nov 5, 2012   #2
hI RATHANA!
Your english writing is good! Very little to correct! Just a Q and suggestions (in CAPS)
3 graders (GRADES)
I didn't understand most of the materials that I studied and were assigned to me
bunch of puck (WHAT IS PUCK PLEASE??)

Hardship is inevitable, SOMETHING that everyone has to face at one point in their life, and mine MINE OR MY HARDSHIP was a valuable experience and memorable. I will treasure it for life. But, look LOOKING ahead, I want to capitalize on those successES and set up my HIGHER goals bigger and higher so that I can TO accomplish my dream of becoming the first person in my family to pursue a college education and a professional career in the engineering field.


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