"My high grades confirm that I deserve a better school";TRANSFER OBJECTIVES & REASONS

This essay is only halfway done, but I will post it anyway. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.

Almost anyone's main objective for attending college first and foremost would be to lay the groundwork for their future endeavors. The most logical way to go about acting upon such a decision would be to determine for one's self which institution is most appropriate for their intentions. This reasoning is basically what has influenced my personal decision to transfer. I feel as though the most beneficial thing that I can do for myself would be to enter a new environment more suited to my character, and equipped to prepare me for my future comings.

My experience at St. Leo University has certainly been enjoyable and well worth the venture, but to put blatantly, I feel I have substantially earned high enough grades to receive admission into a significantly better school. I have developed close and long lasting friendships/relationships at St. Leo, but I am almost certain that entering a school with a more notably academically oriented student body would allow me to excel that much further. One major thing which I have discovered about myself that has helped to prompt this decision is that I get very stimulated intellectually. An atmosphere that could maximize this sensation and be more encouraging of it would therefore be more fit.

Almost anyone's main objective for attending college first and foremost would beMy main objective for attending a college is to lay the groundwork for theirmy future endeavors.

My experience at St. Leo University has certainly been enjoyable and well worth the venture, but to put blatantly, I feel I have substantially earned high enough grades to receive admission into a significantly better school .

You need to be more direct rather than using phrases like "I feel" "The most logical way to go about" "This reasoning" "One major thing" etc; they are wasted words and convey nothing. Also, you need to rewrite the whole second paragraph; it's highly egotistical and I suggest you mainly focus on being stimulated intellectually as well as motivated rather than talking about how your grades show you should be in a better school.

thank you