Highly ranked programs - Why Syracuse Essay (250 max)

i see myself thriving and enjoying there

My junior year I played around with a college search site, usually stuck to looking at schools along the west coast but I was compelled to look at schools in New York. Expecting to find schools in New York City, I came upon Syracuse. The highly ranked architecture program was what first got me to look deeper into the university and I started to look if it was a match for me. The number of opportunities for global studies, the dedication to students through programs such as AIAS, and the pride the school held in itself had me imagining what it would like to be apart of that. After talking about the school and answering Syracuse to the "Where are you going to college?" question, my parents decided we had to visit. The visit to the campus cemented my belief that the university was right for me. The history behind the school as well as the atmosphere had a great influence on my application. The size of Syracuse is what I believe will best suit my academics as the classes are personable but the resources of a large university are still available. On the plane ride to New York, I was scared that I wouldn't like the school and this trip would have been for nothing but I was happy to find a place that I could see myself thriving and enjoying for the next four years to come.

Hi, Petrij7

you are confusing me a little bit. It seems like you talked about how you like New York City and then you chose Syracuse. For a new yorker's view, Syracuse is farrrrrrrrr. I don't clearly see the reasons why you chose it. Maybe a conclusion sentence with reasons in the front or end will help your essay clear.

Jenna, there is a lack of personal interest in your response. The information you present here could have been taken out of any brochure, website, or online review of the university. You need to explain why you chose the university based on 2 considerations, it's ability to meet your academic requirements and its potential to help you become an immediate participant in the workforce upon your graduation (also known as professional goals). From what I read in this essay, you gave non-responses to a direct question. Therefore, you need to make sure that you respond to the prompt based on a deeper understanding of what the university can offer you, in terms of educating you within your chosen major. Explanations about choosing the university based on the ranking, environment of the campus, and programs the university offers (without directly relating to a chosen major) weakens your response because it does not really explain why you chose the university beyond the obvious reasons.

I also agree that your statements are mostly generic; many colleges offer study abroad opportunities, "dedication to students through AIAS" is a bit vague (be specific), "the pride the school held in itself" (what kind of pride are you talking about? School spirit, student activity, prestige, there are many aspects of pride).

If you're interested in the architecture program, elaborate on that. Right now the content is all over the place, and I don't see the common string throughout your essay.