Prompt for Michigan University Personal Statement: Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words) Im currently at 312 words. I think I need help on my word choices and my conclusion, but all suggestions, comments, or critiques are greatly appreciated!
Thank you for taking the time to read my essay and supplying your input!
DIINNNNGGGG DIINNNNGGGG DIINNNNGGGG. I woke up to the sound of my alarm go off thinking that today was going to be a normal school day. I went through my daily perfunctory in the morning, hitting the snooze button 10000 times before I actually get up, getting up to go to the bathroom, taking a shower, etc. When I came out of the shower, I thought to myself, its quiet, too quiet. I called out to my mom, no answer. I called out to my dad, no answer. Lastly, I called out to my brother, but to no avail no answer. For the first time I was alone in the house. From this day forward I had joined a new community, one that I had never thought I would be apart ever in my life. I had joined the home alone community. There I was a 12 year old confused. befuddled, and hungry. I had always had the pleasure to waking up to a nice hot breakfast before school, thanks to my mom. I had always had the pleasure of coming home to a loving family greeting me and asking how my day was. I had always had the pleasure of having a ride to go wherever I wanted. Since the economy has gone down, both my parents were forced to work, from early in the morning to late at night. Being apart of the home alone community sucked, but it had its perks to it. I had relied so much on my family to support me and help me through out my life, but months and years have past. They made me more independent, I had learned to do things I never knew how to do like cooking. Sure at first I hated this new community, but like every other community once you have to get used to it to get comfortable.
Thank you for taking the time to read my essay and supplying your input!
DIINNNNGGGG DIINNNNGGGG DIINNNNGGGG. I woke up to the sound of my alarm go off thinking that today was going to be a normal school day. I went through my daily perfunctory in the morning, hitting the snooze button 10000 times before I actually get up, getting up to go to the bathroom, taking a shower, etc. When I came out of the shower, I thought to myself, its quiet, too quiet. I called out to my mom, no answer. I called out to my dad, no answer. Lastly, I called out to my brother, but to no avail no answer. For the first time I was alone in the house. From this day forward I had joined a new community, one that I had never thought I would be apart ever in my life. I had joined the home alone community. There I was a 12 year old confused. befuddled, and hungry. I had always had the pleasure to waking up to a nice hot breakfast before school, thanks to my mom. I had always had the pleasure of coming home to a loving family greeting me and asking how my day was. I had always had the pleasure of having a ride to go wherever I wanted. Since the economy has gone down, both my parents were forced to work, from early in the morning to late at night. Being apart of the home alone community sucked, but it had its perks to it. I had relied so much on my family to support me and help me through out my life, but months and years have past. They made me more independent, I had learned to do things I never knew how to do like cooking. Sure at first I hated this new community, but like every other community once you have to get used to it to get comfortable.
