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"the human and professional worlds" - Babson essay : a letter to your future roommate



walcolo 1 / -  
Feb 3, 2011   #1
Dear Roommate,

We made it, congratulations ! We achieved high school and are now about to live the four most intense years of our existence ! I think we both can't wait to start studying at Babson. This is going to be a really beneficial experience. We are about to spend whole days with students from all over the world, each with a specific story and personality. But among all these people, the roommate is a special friend, who won't be forgotten. It is a special status that has a real impact on someone's daily life and I will do my best to succeed in this role. I will be there to support you in times of weakness and I hope you will be there as well to help me during this amazing journey that is about to begin. I am an open-minded boy and I don't consider tolerance as an option ; I esteem that respect among people is required in any kind of society. Let me know if you need any help with your work, I will be glad to help. I can understand that the idea of having to spend the majority of your time with someone you don't know anything about yet may seem repulsive but I will do everything for these years to be a good time. In my opinion, campus living is a unique experience that everyone should attempt. I had twice the opportunity to stay on campuses and those experiments provided me with really good memories. I understand that you need some privacy and so do I but with the time, we will both belong to the daily life of the other. I am really hoping that we will establish a unitary and strong relationship that will resist the time and abet us for the years to come. Therefore, I am wishing you luck, recognition and courage at Babson.

As a French boy who traveled a lot across the world and who has friends from every continent, I know that differences in beliefs, origins and culture are nothing but an opportunity for a group. It provides different points of view on the topic and brings to the discussions an opinion that wouldn't have been regarded otherwise. This is the main strength of Babson College as it is one of the only colleges so open world widely. I mainly chose Babson for this reason but I also consider that it is a real promoter of the student's evolution. Babson understood the real point of progress : any theory has to be confronted before being considered. An implementation that has not been debated and evaluated is greatly exposed to failure, especially in entrepreneurship. Babson can grant me with the "Hegelian Aufhebung" I need to evolve. Through its diversity and its promotes of teamwork, Babson is to me the only colleges providing these necessary aspects of education.

During all these high school years, I felt that the theories I was studying were not truly exploited, as if I was missing some part of the subject. I know that Babson will allow me to deepen the subjects I am really interested in, something I would not be able to do that much elsewhere. College is in my opinion the perfect symbiosis between the human and professional worlds and I am expecting to receive from Babson and its community a part of the specific atmosphere that the school contains. I am also looking forward to be a part of the wide and diversified world of Babson and to be able to contribute with my own labor to the further increases of Babson College.

Ary Schlumberger

uzb_ulugbek 2 / 4  
Feb 4, 2011   #2
Very nice beginning of your essay, but as I, as a reader, move on, I see only the description of why you are going to study in Babson. I think, your roommate is not interested in your plans from the college, but is interested in your personality. You have already given your academic objectives in other essays, and now, it is time to focus on yourself, how you behave, what do you like and do not like, how you can be a best roommate for him and so on.

Change from this line
: I mainly chose Babson for this reason but I also consider that it is a real promoter of the student's evolution. Babson understood the real point of progress : any theory has to be confronted before being considered. An implementation that has not been debated and evaluated is greatly exposed to failure, especially in entrepreneurship. Babson can grant me with the "Hegelian Aufhebung" I need to evolve. Through its diversity and its promotes of teamwork, Babson is to me the only colleges providing these necessary aspects of education.

During all these high school years, I felt that the theories I was studying were not truly exploited, as if I was missing some part of the subject. I know that Babson will allow me to deepen the subjects I am really interested in, something I would not be able to do that much elsewhere. College is in my opinion the perfect symbiosis between the human and professional worlds and I am expecting to receive from Babson and its community a part of the specific atmosphere that the school contains. I am also looking forward to be a part of the wide and diversified world of Babson and to be able to contribute with my own labor to the further increases of Babson College.

If you have time, please look through my essays and give your feedbacks.

Thank you. Wishing you good luck!!!
EF_Susan - / 2310  
Feb 10, 2011   #3
We achieved high school and----No, you did not achieve high school You can say this:

We achieved our goals in high school and are now about to live the four most intense years of our existence!----Cool sentence, but the intense years still might come later. :-)

Brilliant... very good writing here. But I think your first paragraph is too long. Can you separate it into 2 paragraphs about the two different ideas you cover?

of the subject.---what subject? Entrepreneurship? Clarify here, and I think you write so well... it will be good if you spend a few moments telling more about your career plan or academic goals.

Great job!


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