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ICS program is one of a kind / Duke Sup/ Duke attractions


mayfl0wer 6 / 48  
Dec 29, 2012   #1
(For Arts and Sciences Applicants Only) If you are applying to Trinity College of Arts and Sciences, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something in particular at Duke that attracts you? Please limit your response to one or two paragraphs.

As someone who aspires to pursue a career in international diplomacy, I hope to enroll in Duke's International Comparative Studies (ICS) program and pursue a minor in economics. The ICS program is one of a kind and would allow me to develop a strong foundation in global studies, which is crucial in understanding the ever -changing state of our world and economy. Having travelled across Europe and Asia at a young age, I have experienced first-hand the cultural and political differences that exist between borders and with my experience, drawing from my travels, I hope to share my experiences with those I meet at Duke and actively contribute and engage in course discussions. Duke's multi-faceted FOCUS program enables me to explore unconventional disciplines not offered at other universities and I am particularly interested in the Ethics, Leadership & Global Citizenship and Modeling in Economic & Social Sciences courses. In addition, I am particularly interested in Duke's EDUCO Study Abroad in Paris because of its immersive French environment and diverse curriculum. Having studied French for nine years, I am eager to build upon my language skills as well as develop a holistic understanding of the cultural, historical, and political aspects of Europe covered in class.

Socially, I love Duke's 'work hard, play hard' environment. A school's sense of pride and community plays a crucial part in one's undergraduate experience and Duke is no short of school spirit with its superior academics and incredible athletics. Specifically, I am interested in Duke's Greek life. In a sorority, I can not only experience fun and excitement, but develop a close knit support system of like-minded students and alumni as well. From academic support and community service to leadership opportunities and life-long friendships, if accepted, Greek life will be a highlight of my undergraduate experience at Duke. Overall, Duke is the one institution where I can learn under the best minds of the country and flourish with students who are equally passionate about making an impact with their education. By exposing myself to a full spectrum of available resources, the Duke undergraduate program will prepare me for a career in international studies through an intellectual and dynamic environment.

mylesd 6 / 10 1  
Dec 29, 2012   #2
I have a few suggestions.

"...and Duke is no short of school spirit..."
To be honest, I am not sure if this is grammatically correct or not. It does sound a bit odd to me though.
Consider '...and Duke is not short on school spirit...'

My other suggestion is to take a look at how many times you said "and."
By using the word "and" so much, you almost make your essay seem repetitive.

Other than that, it is really good.
Hope I helped.
Good luck!
OP mayfl0wer 6 / 48  
Dec 29, 2012   #3
Oh man, I did say 'and' a lot.

Correcting now!

Thanks a lot. : )
BlackWaltzIV 5 / 10  
Dec 29, 2012   #4
Duke is no short of school spirit with its superior academics and incredible athletics.

TBH I think this may sound a bit arrogant. Duke is good but they know they aren't Harvard. The word superior sounds a bit elitist; I was enjoying it, but that seemed to ruin the mood.
aqualad 5 / 12 3  
Dec 29, 2012   #5
In a sorority, I would not only experience fun and excitement,

You should change that to something else. The way it is, it makes you sound like a robot.

Also in regards to the Greek system, maybe put in something about how the Greek life at Duke is different from at other schools. The way it is now, it sounds really general.

earn under the best minds of the country

Some of the best minds would be better.

By exposing myself to a full spectrum of available resources, the Duke undergraduate program

This should be "By allowing me to expose myself to..."

Just a general note, throughout the entire essay, you seem to view Duke as a means to an end. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm not sure it sounds as good. Like you don't about learning for its own sake, but where it will get you.
503dannyk 8 / 25 1  
Dec 29, 2012   #6
This is really good. I really like how you talked about every aspect of the school, and you incorporated a lot in few words. Also, it's written really well, props to you. It's definitely better than my BU essay. Wish you well!
alicederp 10 / 56 4  
Jan 2, 2013   #7
"Although home to a _(killer?)_ inspirational? men's basketball team and exciting Greek life, it is Duke's balance of academic and social opportunities thatis what truly draws me in. "

"I have developed a passion towardspassionate about a career in international diplomacy and business, and intend to major in International Comparative Studies (ICS) and minor in Economics."

"As well Moreover? Furthermore?, through Duke's EDUCO Study Abroad in Paris, I have the opportunity to build upon my nine years of French and develop a holistic understanding of European culture, history, and politics. "

"I can to utilize my background in business to aid various development initiatives and NGOs around the world."

Except for those I think you have a brilliant essay! Really shows that you know the school!

Hope I helped.
aceq 2 / 12 1  
Jan 2, 2013   #8
other words for killer could be: astonishing, breathtaking, remarkable, wondrous, phenomenal

hope one of those helps. Suggestion but don't have to, maybe be even more detailed and mention a specific course for either major.

Good job, very detailed!
strwrsfn0013 3 / 15 6  
Jan 2, 2013   #9
Although home to a phenomenal men's basketball team and an exciting Greek life, it is Duke's balance of academic and social opportunities is what trulythat draws me in. Having attended a business-orientated magnet school for seven years and travelled across Europe and Asia, I have developed a passionate about a career in international diplomacy and business, and intend to major in International Comparative Studies (ICS) and minor in Economics. The ICS program offers unique opportunities to develop a strong foundation in international studies, with global issues courses teaching breadth of focus and comparative courses ensuring a multi-faceted and global education. Paired with the diversity of the FOCUS program, I can explore unconventional disciplines not offered at other universities, specifically the Ethics, Leadership & Global Citizenship and Modeling in Economic & Social Sciences courses. As well, through Duke's EDUCO Study Abroad in Paris, I have the opportunity to build upon my nine years of French and develop a holistic understanding of European culture, history, and politics.

Apart from its full spectrum of academic resources, Duke is home to many social opportunities that would allow me to become engaged outside of a classroom setting. SpecificallyNamely , I intend to become actively involved with Duke's Net Impact club. Pairing my passion for global studies with my education at Duke, I can to utilize my background in business to aid various development initiatives and NGOs around the world. I hope to apply the event planning skills that I have developed as a Student Trustee to organize Net Impact conferences and social events aimed to educate the rest of the Duke student body on how they can use their education to assist in corporate responsibility and social entrepreneurship. Ultimately, Duke is an institution where I can flourish with students who are equally passionate about making an impact with their education. Duke's excellent academic reputation and plethora of extracurriculars are both key ingredients of an exciting undergraduate experience, and I would be honored to bleed blue for the next four years. Go Devils!

I love this. It's so upbeat and cheery, but asides from a few grammatical errors here and there I think this is good. Very well done. Would you mind giving my own thread a look? It would be much appreciated.
OP mayfl0wer 6 / 48  
Jan 2, 2013   #10
Thank you all so so much! : )

Really appreciate it! Will look at yours now!
Kitsumi 4 / 97 16  
Jan 2, 2013   #11
It's a nice essay, there's just a couple of run-on sentences like this one:
Having attended a business-orientated magnet school for seven years and travelled across Europe and Asia, I have developed a passionate about a career in international diplomacy and business, and intend to major in International Comparative Studies (ICS) and minor in Economics.

You could try breaking them up, so the first part focuses on your schooling and travelling, while the second deals with your intended majors.
Laccone94 1 / 3  
Jan 2, 2013   #12
Maybe include in it the mission statement of the school? I had an interview and I told the guy all about their programs and how i can be a wonderful addition to the school. However i couldn't name the mission statement so it made me look like i just checked out their website before the interview. If there is anyway to tie that in than wonderful. If not your essya is really good. You know what your talking about.
CTHIMENYOR 1 / 13  
Jan 2, 2013   #13
Overall this is a good essay.
Red grammar problem
Blue marking are things that I think the essay would sound bettr with
Good Luck


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