Howdy! I was hoping to join this community to see how I may revise my essay as a transfer applicant for UT Austin. I feel as though I could use a lot of help!
All comments and suggestions are very much appreciated!
Topic E: Issue of Importance
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
Executing knowledge from education is essential for the advancement of humanity. Challenges and questions that arise in this progress are overcome by those who value academics above all else. Without appreciating this value, one cannot excel in the process of learning. Education is vitally important for those who want to succeed in life.
As a collective human race, we have created a better life for society due to our own inclination for higher thought. Discoveries have been made, sustained, and elaborated so that our descendants may benefit themselves and their descendants as well. It has been approximately one hundred years ago that we invented the automobile for a more efficient way of travel, and only thirty years ago since the invention of the mobile phone. As of today, our knowledge is allowing us to provide alternatives or answers for the misfortunes of life. In a most recent article that I have read, researchers have pinpointed an area that is known to be the first place where Alzheimer's disease first develops. The researchers who made the discovery appreciate and execute their expertise of brain science to help the world in a possible solution of preventing this disease. One day, future generations may find resolution into stopping the development of this issue.
From what I have observed, my generation has viewed education in a negative aspect. Throughout high school, I have recognized reluctance in some of the other students. Many of my acquaintances bolstered the idea that attending college was not required because it takes a lot of effort to do so. They lost interest in learning new concepts, and paid closer attention to the social aspect that came from attending classes. These people graduated with their high school diplomas and thought they were ready for the world. Some of them did not enroll into college and decided to work for minimum wage, while others continued their education in community colleges. It was only after a short while that these more responsible acquaintances dropped out of enrollment after one or two semesters. This impacted my perspective of the generation's reluctance to learn and improve their view of the world. As Aristotle once quoted, "Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all." The significance of this idea was an exceptional part of my own appreciation of education, to which I sincerely value.
Learning holds a genuine importance in my life. As a student of the natural sciences, I admit that there is a vast amount of information required to solve the puzzling question that life has given us. If not properly informed, then I would not gain the potential to execute the knowledge to further our understanding of the world. The academic history of my family holds a vital role in my understanding of intellectual values. My mother dropped out of college to live in the United States of America, and my father did not have any intentions after high school to enroll. My older sister had an aspiration to become a dance instructor after her studies at Sam Houston State University, but she did not continue after her year of enrollment. Their disinclination of learning has compelled me to further my own.
Knowledge is profitable, and humanity has progressed due to valuing and implementing education. The benefits that come from our understanding of the world allow us to live a more fulfilling life. Nothing is more rewarding than to feel the satisfaction of discovering a concept or idea that could shape the world, and by utilizing the education that one receives is an important part of reaching that satisfaction.
Thank you!
All comments and suggestions are very much appreciated!
Topic E: Issue of Importance
Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.
Executing knowledge from education is essential for the advancement of humanity. Challenges and questions that arise in this progress are overcome by those who value academics above all else. Without appreciating this value, one cannot excel in the process of learning. Education is vitally important for those who want to succeed in life.
As a collective human race, we have created a better life for society due to our own inclination for higher thought. Discoveries have been made, sustained, and elaborated so that our descendants may benefit themselves and their descendants as well. It has been approximately one hundred years ago that we invented the automobile for a more efficient way of travel, and only thirty years ago since the invention of the mobile phone. As of today, our knowledge is allowing us to provide alternatives or answers for the misfortunes of life. In a most recent article that I have read, researchers have pinpointed an area that is known to be the first place where Alzheimer's disease first develops. The researchers who made the discovery appreciate and execute their expertise of brain science to help the world in a possible solution of preventing this disease. One day, future generations may find resolution into stopping the development of this issue.
From what I have observed, my generation has viewed education in a negative aspect. Throughout high school, I have recognized reluctance in some of the other students. Many of my acquaintances bolstered the idea that attending college was not required because it takes a lot of effort to do so. They lost interest in learning new concepts, and paid closer attention to the social aspect that came from attending classes. These people graduated with their high school diplomas and thought they were ready for the world. Some of them did not enroll into college and decided to work for minimum wage, while others continued their education in community colleges. It was only after a short while that these more responsible acquaintances dropped out of enrollment after one or two semesters. This impacted my perspective of the generation's reluctance to learn and improve their view of the world. As Aristotle once quoted, "Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all." The significance of this idea was an exceptional part of my own appreciation of education, to which I sincerely value.
Learning holds a genuine importance in my life. As a student of the natural sciences, I admit that there is a vast amount of information required to solve the puzzling question that life has given us. If not properly informed, then I would not gain the potential to execute the knowledge to further our understanding of the world. The academic history of my family holds a vital role in my understanding of intellectual values. My mother dropped out of college to live in the United States of America, and my father did not have any intentions after high school to enroll. My older sister had an aspiration to become a dance instructor after her studies at Sam Houston State University, but she did not continue after her year of enrollment. Their disinclination of learning has compelled me to further my own.
Knowledge is profitable, and humanity has progressed due to valuing and implementing education. The benefits that come from our understanding of the world allow us to live a more fulfilling life. Nothing is more rewarding than to feel the satisfaction of discovering a concept or idea that could shape the world, and by utilizing the education that one receives is an important part of reaching that satisfaction.
Thank you!