Greeting!
I wrote my personall essay for transfer.
Please let me know if I answer the promt. Any harsh input would be appreciated. Thanks!
Promt: Choose an issue of importance to you -the issue could be personal, school related, local, political or international in scop and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community or your generation.
Here it is..
Education is the most important process in life, passing on knowledge from one generation to another. The importance of education is neglected when a nation is at war. My parents are victims to the Post-Korean War era. The educational system was destroyed in South Korea. At the time my parents were able to attend elementary school, the country was still under reconstruction. Due to the circumstances, my parents had to work to support their families instead of going to school. It was unfortunate for them to have a long delay in formal education. As time progressed, education became more important.
My generation was fortunate to have a more organized and qualified educational structure then previous generations. My parents have emphasized the importance of having an education because they know their lives would be different if they were given the same opportunities as I did. Ever since I was born my parents have pushed me along from one grade level to the next, always reiterating the importance of completing my education. Even though they did not have a higher education, they were always willing to participate in my education either directly or indirectly. Getting accepted into a good high school was as important as getting accepted into a good college. My parents both worked to support my high school tuition which is a common thing in Korea. When I was in high school, my parents were not able to help me on the subject material I struggled with, so they saved enough money to send me to several after school tutoring centers where I could gain the knowledge I needed to succeed in high school.
As a young adolescent I was pushed to succeed where my parents had failed not fully understanding what I really wanted to do with my life. In my second year in high school I was asked where I wanted to go to college. I had never actually thought about where I wanted to go to school or even what I wanted to pursue a degree in. Listening to my friends and how excited they were to attended a college for tourism and hospitality, influenced my decision. I was very fascinated with speaking English that I had thought tourism and hospitality was something I'd like to do as well. My parents supported my degree plan but they limited me to where I could go due to tuition and expenses. They worked longer hours to pay for my tuition with one thought in mind, my education was the most important priority in there life. I graduated with a four year degree which made my parents very happy.
The importance of education has a different meaning to different people. Education was important to me because it was important to my family. I was told having an education that it was something that no one could ever take away. Knowledge is power and the power of knowledge helps us grow. Now that I am more mature I am continuing my education to pursue a degree that I find important to me and the knowledge that I will gain will not only benefit me, it will benefit my husband and our future children. This is why I think education is important in my lifetime.
________
In my personal opinion, It is way too personal, I read other people's essays, they were more like research papers, it seem dry but well written. I think mine is not well focused. What y'all think?
I wrote my personall essay for transfer.
Please let me know if I answer the promt. Any harsh input would be appreciated. Thanks!
Promt: Choose an issue of importance to you -the issue could be personal, school related, local, political or international in scop and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community or your generation.
Here it is..
Education is the most important process in life, passing on knowledge from one generation to another. The importance of education is neglected when a nation is at war. My parents are victims to the Post-Korean War era. The educational system was destroyed in South Korea. At the time my parents were able to attend elementary school, the country was still under reconstruction. Due to the circumstances, my parents had to work to support their families instead of going to school. It was unfortunate for them to have a long delay in formal education. As time progressed, education became more important.
My generation was fortunate to have a more organized and qualified educational structure then previous generations. My parents have emphasized the importance of having an education because they know their lives would be different if they were given the same opportunities as I did. Ever since I was born my parents have pushed me along from one grade level to the next, always reiterating the importance of completing my education. Even though they did not have a higher education, they were always willing to participate in my education either directly or indirectly. Getting accepted into a good high school was as important as getting accepted into a good college. My parents both worked to support my high school tuition which is a common thing in Korea. When I was in high school, my parents were not able to help me on the subject material I struggled with, so they saved enough money to send me to several after school tutoring centers where I could gain the knowledge I needed to succeed in high school.
As a young adolescent I was pushed to succeed where my parents had failed not fully understanding what I really wanted to do with my life. In my second year in high school I was asked where I wanted to go to college. I had never actually thought about where I wanted to go to school or even what I wanted to pursue a degree in. Listening to my friends and how excited they were to attended a college for tourism and hospitality, influenced my decision. I was very fascinated with speaking English that I had thought tourism and hospitality was something I'd like to do as well. My parents supported my degree plan but they limited me to where I could go due to tuition and expenses. They worked longer hours to pay for my tuition with one thought in mind, my education was the most important priority in there life. I graduated with a four year degree which made my parents very happy.
The importance of education has a different meaning to different people. Education was important to me because it was important to my family. I was told having an education that it was something that no one could ever take away. Knowledge is power and the power of knowledge helps us grow. Now that I am more mature I am continuing my education to pursue a degree that I find important to me and the knowledge that I will gain will not only benefit me, it will benefit my husband and our future children. This is why I think education is important in my lifetime.
________
In my personal opinion, It is way too personal, I read other people's essays, they were more like research papers, it seem dry but well written. I think mine is not well focused. What y'all think?