The most important reason, that I want to become a Hokie, is to feel like I belong somewhere

5 Reasons I Want to be a Hokie Prompt. open to advice!

Hi I'm applying to Virginia Tech's School of Engineering and I'm really trying hard to write these essays. I would like any sort of criticism on my essays that would help me improve. All advice is appreciated thankyou!

When I toured the college of Virginia Tech, I couldn't help but admire the scenery of the campus. One of the reasons that makes the campus so amazing to me is the fact that it is situated right next to the mountains. The stone buildings combined with the natural environment makes the campus seem like the perfect place to be in.

Ever since I was young, I was always interested in how everything worked. When furniture, computers, or anything in the house broke, I would watch my dad fix each problem with amazement and ask him if he could teach me how to fix these things too. The creativity and problem solving involved with fixing and building is what makes me want to pursue engineering in the future at Virginia Tech.

For me, being a Hokie would also give me the opportunity to study under one of the best research programs in the nation. I want to be able to learn, while also discovering new things in my field of interest.

Having three other siblings, competition is inevitable. My older brother is attending W&M and my sister is attending UVA. As if the UVA competition wasn't enough, my own twin also wants to attend UVA. Rather than following my older brother and sister at W&M or UVA, I want to be the different one in the family that tries new things and is a doer, not a follower.

Finally, the most important reason I want to become a Hokie is to feel like I belong somewhere. I want to not only feel accepted for who I am, but also accept others for who they are. The lively and hospitable Hokie spirit is what makes me want to be a part of the community and campus of Virginia tech.

... campus seem like the perfect place to be in You don't need the extra preposition "in" at the end.

I think that was the only grammatical error. As for the content of your essay, I suggest instead of just saying "one of the best research programs in the nation," explain what that means to you. Why do you think it has one of the best research programs in the nation? What specific opportunities in research are at Virginia tech?

Instead of saying, "... and ask him if he could teach me how to fix these things too," I think it would be more powerful to recount a specific incident and use an anecdote.

When writing this essay, I think you should consider the question, "What does Virginia Tech have that other schools don't?"

Good luck on applying to Virginia Tech. I myself am applying to MIT and Caltech tomorrow, and I'm using this website for last minute edits on my essays lol (no way I'll get in though).