I instantly fell in love with Columbia University: College Community" 1500 words

Here's is the "essay" that I wrote for Columbia regarding one thing that I like about it. I wrote about the diversity of the college life and how much I would enjoy that. English was not my first language so pls don't laugh too hard at me. Feel free to criticize and give suggestions.God knows I need all the help I can get.

When choosing the right university , it is not only important for me to consider such aspects as core curriculums and programs, but it is also important to look at the college community and life which can help enrich both my academics and my college experience. This is exactly the reason why, when I looked at Columbia's guide featuring the student communities, I instantly fell in love. The cultural and intellectual diversity of the student body, from Romania to Hong Kong, from economists to astrophysicists, shall, to me, foster cultural acceptance, allowing me to easily fit in. The endless options of over 500 clubs and organizations will provide outlet to help be involved and makes a difference in the community as well as a boundless source for making new connections with new friends, not to mention the variety of organizations of political activism and student government, something that is my core passion. Best of all, Columbia is located in New York City, the cultural and commercial capital of the world. This nurturing, international community of cultural and professional ties wills, no doubt, helps me grows and become more efficient both as a person, and as a very lucky student.

i liked it. english's not my first language too but i think you should use a another word instead of lucky.

I like it, very good job. Two sentences, however, sounded a little peculiar to me. The first


This phrase is little awkward, maybe you can replace it with 'will'. The second


This is a bit of a run off, maybe you should consider breaking it down into two.
Good luck, I hope I helped.

This is really good. Just make sure you go over it a couple of times to make sure there are no more grammar mistakes. I have spotted a few, the ones that the person above ^ did. Just make sure that part is perfect.

thank you so very much to everyone who have helped.
This was a big help.
:)

Hey this is great! (: I recently submitted mine.

Just wondering if one should focus on one thing about the university for 'why such and such university' or is it okay to be generally speaking on broad subject? I made it sound confusing but what i mean is your essay is quite broad, you speak of diversity, but what else? because diversity is quite present on every campus.

Perhaps the major you wanna study or one organization that interests you!

Overall, well written xD

possibly a little more specific on some clubs/organizations/research opportunities would make this essay top notch

This is a great answer to Columbia's question! I recently applied as well.

I also wrote about some of the cultural and social features that made me drawn to Columbia. I had my college counselor look over it and she said that it's great to mention these things but that it's also very important to remember to include a little bit of the academics that draw you to the school as well, even if it is "to be expected", per say.

I recommend adding just a little bit about the academics (I know it's hard with the 1500 character limit). Otherwise, I think you responded to their question very well!!!