Why you are interested in applying to and attending Swarthmore? To be challenged academically.

In the midst of my college search, I sought a school that would academically challenge me, offer individualized attention, and a place where my voice can be heard. Although many schools offer those qualities, Swarthmore exceeds all.

I intend to major in biology but I am also excited to explore other possible majors and Swarthmore offers me that flexibility. Swarthmore's Seminar Method that is incorporated into the Honors Program had initially sparked my interest. I have always actively been engaged in my school seminars because it gave me the opportunity to share my opinions and collaborate with my peers. Swarthmore is an environment where each and every students' voices will be heard and valued.

As President of a club in my school, called Students for Social Responsibility, that focuses on giving back to my local community, I was excited to see the volunteer opportunities listed under the Lang Center for Civic and Social Responsibility program. However, as an aspiring dentist, I am particularly interested in the area of dental care community service (KidsSmile) that Swarthmore would connect me to. Swarthmore would open a path for me that would contribute to my future career all the while helping me to make a difference in a new community that I would call home for the next four years.

I want a school where studying goes beyond the classroom, where students' urge to learn comes from genuine interest, and where education is more than just a grade. For these reasons, I believe that Swarthmore is the place for me.

Yoosol, some parts of your essay make assumptions about the learning experience that Swarthmore offers it students. I am not sure where you got the information that studying at the university is more than just about the grade, or the information that you provided in your opening statement regarding the qualities that Swarthmore embodies. Did you just get that information from their website or from alumna of the university? It is best to not make such sweeping assumptions about the learning experience and student life at the university. Instead, just focus your essay on the aspects of the university that you can prove to be supporting facts regarding your interest in applying to and attending Swarthmore.

From the way I review your essay, the most direct and efficient method of responding to the prompt would be to just present the second and third paragraphs as your statement response. You don't need the opening and closing statements in this case. Your response becomes most effective when you just deliver your straightforward response to the prompt. The reviewer will appreciate it because you will be saving him the bother of having to sort through your essay's non-essential information for your actual response to the prompt.

@Holt
Hi. I read information from past alumnas and current students. Those qualities that I wrote in the beginning and end are some of the things they stressed. Should I still not add them?

I would rather that you do not add them. You see, unless you have actually experienced the events or sentiments that you have placed in the essay, you will only be making assumptions based on other people's experiences and the reviewer will realize that throughout his reading of your essay. When you are asked why you are interested in attending the university, the information should be based on your personal knowledge and preferences based upon the easily accessible university information. Or, in the case of stateside students who can do a campus visit, personal experience from time spent on the campus and with the students. Keep in mind that the experience of others may not be the same as your experience.

From the way that you worded those portions of your essay, you are delivering the idea that you have been to the university and experienced these things that you speak of. Since you did not go to the university, don't use that information. It sounds forced and unnatural in the essay. The most comfortable and honest sounding answer that you provided are the ones in paragraphs 2 and 3. I believe that those are your own words based upon your own research right? That is where the honest voice comes from and that is what the reviewer will appreciate reading.