Hi,
Yet again I need your help :)
Now that I have finished my statement of purpose I am trying to tackle the personal essay. Again, any criticism is welcome. I want this to be as polished as possible!
I really appreciate it!
PROMPT
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation
ESSAY
An enormous database with unprecedented amount of information. Not to mention messy, with all kinds of content of unpredictable quality. This is how the Internet could be described. As accessibility is expanding, more and more people are able to surf the web. But with content growing by the minute, the information structure of the web becomes a puzzling issue. While Google made some progress with its search engine to provide users with the information they want, there is still a long way to go. The over accessibility of information, content quality and the organization of data are the most striking problems.
Not long ago I was able to play online with a Swedish student I had never met before. We got to talk during the game and it turned out she was taking French classes. We shared emails and I ended up helping her with her French class homework. Now that most households around the world have acquired access to the Internet, encounters like this became common. More and more users are connected. There are educated and responsible individuals amongst those. However, there are also irresponsible, fragile and perhaps heinous persons. When the world is at your fingertips, it is tempting to delve for forbidden content. Hence, the wonderful tool, under the wrong hands, can become dangerous.
Earlier this month, in Michigan, two teenagers attempted to build their own pipe bomb after watching a video on the Internet. The bomb detonated prematurely and both got injured. Should ANY individual, responsible or not, be able to find this kind of information? Thankfully video-sharing websites such as YouTube or Dailymotion have moderation teams to guarantee the content uploaded is appropriate. Nevertheless, videos are not put down immediately and not every website enforces such verifications. It is safe to say there is in general very little control over the content published, allowing undesired, misleading or dangerous information to be published and eventually ending up in front of the wrong individuals. It almost sounds like a lost cause; because the ever-flowing stream of data is very hard if not impossible to moderate.
The current structure of the web is not adapted to such a voluminous amount of information. A single word query may return a list containing millions if not billions of results. It is assumed the search engine will put forward the most useful links -and most of the time it does- but users are often forced to seek painfully through the countless links pages. This can become a time-consuming process, especially in a fast-paced society where "time is money". Moreover, it disregards a vast amount of information that could possibly be of good quality. The appropriate link might be buried in-between useless ones on the 30th page. Most users do not venture that far. And they should not be expected to: the proceeding should be quick, safe and effortless.
The Internet is fantastic in many respects and clearly improved our channels of communication and knowledge-sharing. But like most world-changing inventions it has its inconveniences. With its community evolving, web searches can deliver potentially dangerous information to irresponsible persons. Information can be hard to moderate as the vastness of the web does not allow for efficient information-sorting and evaluation. As a future software engineer, there is a good chance that I will create or work on web applications. I strongly feel that current and future computer scientists need to strive for the betterment of the Internet. We must take those issues into account and do everything we can to rethink the information structure and how the Internet works as a whole for an easier, safer and more reliable browsing experience.
Yet again I need your help :)
Now that I have finished my statement of purpose I am trying to tackle the personal essay. Again, any criticism is welcome. I want this to be as polished as possible!
I really appreciate it!
PROMPT
Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation
ESSAY
An enormous database with unprecedented amount of information. Not to mention messy, with all kinds of content of unpredictable quality. This is how the Internet could be described. As accessibility is expanding, more and more people are able to surf the web. But with content growing by the minute, the information structure of the web becomes a puzzling issue. While Google made some progress with its search engine to provide users with the information they want, there is still a long way to go. The over accessibility of information, content quality and the organization of data are the most striking problems.
Not long ago I was able to play online with a Swedish student I had never met before. We got to talk during the game and it turned out she was taking French classes. We shared emails and I ended up helping her with her French class homework. Now that most households around the world have acquired access to the Internet, encounters like this became common. More and more users are connected. There are educated and responsible individuals amongst those. However, there are also irresponsible, fragile and perhaps heinous persons. When the world is at your fingertips, it is tempting to delve for forbidden content. Hence, the wonderful tool, under the wrong hands, can become dangerous.
Earlier this month, in Michigan, two teenagers attempted to build their own pipe bomb after watching a video on the Internet. The bomb detonated prematurely and both got injured. Should ANY individual, responsible or not, be able to find this kind of information? Thankfully video-sharing websites such as YouTube or Dailymotion have moderation teams to guarantee the content uploaded is appropriate. Nevertheless, videos are not put down immediately and not every website enforces such verifications. It is safe to say there is in general very little control over the content published, allowing undesired, misleading or dangerous information to be published and eventually ending up in front of the wrong individuals. It almost sounds like a lost cause; because the ever-flowing stream of data is very hard if not impossible to moderate.
The current structure of the web is not adapted to such a voluminous amount of information. A single word query may return a list containing millions if not billions of results. It is assumed the search engine will put forward the most useful links -and most of the time it does- but users are often forced to seek painfully through the countless links pages. This can become a time-consuming process, especially in a fast-paced society where "time is money". Moreover, it disregards a vast amount of information that could possibly be of good quality. The appropriate link might be buried in-between useless ones on the 30th page. Most users do not venture that far. And they should not be expected to: the proceeding should be quick, safe and effortless.
The Internet is fantastic in many respects and clearly improved our channels of communication and knowledge-sharing. But like most world-changing inventions it has its inconveniences. With its community evolving, web searches can deliver potentially dangerous information to irresponsible persons. Information can be hard to moderate as the vastness of the web does not allow for efficient information-sorting and evaluation. As a future software engineer, there is a good chance that I will create or work on web applications. I strongly feel that current and future computer scientists need to strive for the betterment of the Internet. We must take those issues into account and do everything we can to rethink the information structure and how the Internet works as a whole for an easier, safer and more reliable browsing experience.
