The essay is 100 words too long. Pls help.
Topic : If you selected one of the engineering majors, please write a brief third essay telling us what has led you to an interest in this field of study, what experiences (if any) you have had in engineering, and what it is about Yale's engineering program that appeals to you.
I was 10. My family was outside the house, sending off relatives after the New Year celebration.
They were just leaving when their car had malfunctioned but my uncle managed to take care of it. Then the subject cropped up.
"You can fix cars?" I asked.
"Yes, I am an engineer. I can fix all kinds of things" my uncle replied.
"You can build robots?"
"Yes."
"You can invent anything?"
"Of course."
My uncle was only amusing me at that time but it had an intense impact on me. It seemed that the whole world had opened up to me. The possibilities were endless. It seemed to me that to fix something, the criterion is to understand how it works. Since that day, I have become a perfectionist, determined to obtain every single detail and scrutinize everything. Even today, when using a mathematical formula, I go through the derivation process in my head just so I know how exactly to use it and up to what extent it works. The curiosity to fully understand how things work; how everything fits together, whether to serve a practical or abstract purpose led me to engineering. I find it amazing that a combination of objects, tools and ideas can create something totally different than from what it originally is, to solve the mysteries around us. Also, the prospect of removing these books from the science-FICTION category, making the world in these books come to life and inventing objects the likes of which the world has never seen before has propelled me to choose engineering.
Two weeks after the New Year party in 2003, my dad got me a mechanical kit. From then onwards, the bright light of invention, of discovery, of innovation gripped me tenaciously. I aspired to be an inventor, a person who could grasp and accomplish the seemingly impossible. I set out on the immensely satisfying journey of assembling the many models the kit had to offer. Not only did I build them, I improvised many of the structures. I attached a light bulb on top of the car structure and with what my Dad told me about electromagnetism, I managed to make the light bulb glow whenever the car moved. The stationary crane I built now had wheels, and in place of a hook, there was an electromagnet.
And that was just the beginning. Since then, I continued on with what I enjoyed, namely sketching and building more objects (eg hand held crossbow, rubber-band machine gun) and reading up new science articles. I have also constructed a pulley at the top of the stairs in my house to save time and effort of carrying objects of medium size and weight. I am now building a differential drive robot capable of basic object avoidance to better understand the mechanism involved.
I intend to work with the many other professionals to build quantum- teleportation devices, sophisticated robots, revive those who have undergone cryonics, manufacturing food from rearranged elements and many others besides. All in all, I intend to unravel the mysteries of the universe.
Yale's program appeals to me because it is flexible system. It would be easier to understand and remember a topic as motivation and passion of the student in a particular subject will be the key aspect to learning. Also, this environment encourages more experimentation, and through that, we learn more than to boundaries of the course. As interdisciplinary fields are getting ever more important, someone who has a broader knowledge may get a better overview of the working of a machine, a structure or the universe. The low student-faculty ratio also appeals to me.
Thnks, but that still wont make it <500 words.
Yeah, I've noticed that the last par. has quite a lot of errors, I did it in a rush.
Btw, which part do you think is the least important so I can omit it?
Since it already exceeds the word limit, I didnt think it would be a good idea to write more as the conclusion. That would require more sections to be cut out. Anyway, I dont think conclusions are more important than the points I am trying to convey. So, i'd rather omit conclusion than remove a more significant point.
What do you think?
