Please edit this essay for how well it answers the question and the overall strength of it. Thanks!!
Write a brief essay (250 words maximum) in which you respond to the following questions. (freshman applicants only):
Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)
As soon as I stepped into that ornate AP chemistry class junior year, I felt an everlasting bond form. The walls were ornamented with various posters for renowned, prominent scientists of their time and their accomplishments and a myriad of discoveries related to the field of chemistry. Of course being a young, pliable mind, I quickly became attached to the subject and felt a growing attraction as our Chemistry teacher preached of science's role in improving society. But alongside chemistry, biology also tugged at my premature interests. Biology with its heavily practical nature and tremendous scope, immediately fascinated me. Although many would consider my situation fortunate, I felt a looming inner conflict. Which was I to choose? But as soon as a representative from Johns Hopkins arrived at my high school, and I heard of the flexibility of each major and the possibility to concentrate on a narrowed interest within each major, I realized that John Hopkins would truly facilitate my interest in pursuing both Biology and Chemistry. At John Hopkins, I wish to major in Biology with a concentration in Biochemistry at the Bloomberg School of Public. Through this experience, I believe I will not only receive an unparalleled education in the sciences, but also do justice to my high school Chemistry and Biology teachers who sparked that interest and passion within me to not only learn for the sake of creating a future for myself, but also for the sake of bettering myself and mankind.
Write a brief essay (250 words maximum) in which you respond to the following questions. (freshman applicants only):
Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)
As soon as I stepped into that ornate AP chemistry class junior year, I felt an everlasting bond form. The walls were ornamented with various posters for renowned, prominent scientists of their time and their accomplishments and a myriad of discoveries related to the field of chemistry. Of course being a young, pliable mind, I quickly became attached to the subject and felt a growing attraction as our Chemistry teacher preached of science's role in improving society. But alongside chemistry, biology also tugged at my premature interests. Biology with its heavily practical nature and tremendous scope, immediately fascinated me. Although many would consider my situation fortunate, I felt a looming inner conflict. Which was I to choose? But as soon as a representative from Johns Hopkins arrived at my high school, and I heard of the flexibility of each major and the possibility to concentrate on a narrowed interest within each major, I realized that John Hopkins would truly facilitate my interest in pursuing both Biology and Chemistry. At John Hopkins, I wish to major in Biology with a concentration in Biochemistry at the Bloomberg School of Public. Through this experience, I believe I will not only receive an unparalleled education in the sciences, but also do justice to my high school Chemistry and Biology teachers who sparked that interest and passion within me to not only learn for the sake of creating a future for myself, but also for the sake of bettering myself and mankind.