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'learning experience' - the greatest benefit(s) of a diverse educational community?



tokiwong 2 / 2  
Aug 10, 2012   #1
This is a personal statement for Virginia Tech, and it is limited to 250 words. Please feel free to tear it apart, if it means to make it a better essay.

To me, one of the most important things about living an independent college life, is to broaden my horizons and understand all the different kinds of people that the world has to offer. I believe the greatest benefit of a diverse educational community is the opportunity to gain firsthand experience in international, interpersonal relationships. Diversity, extending past race, also includes people from different socio-economic backgrounds, as well as those of different sexual orientation- that of which I'm not quite used to. I believe that being immersed in a diverse group of people earlier on helps to better prepare my future, and possibly my entry into the work force, as well. Gaining such knowledge and experience earlier on in my life, I believe that it would embed a much more open-minded and cultured way of thinking into my psyche, helping me to better communicate with people of different backgrounds much more efficiently. As the world becomes more and more connected as life progresses, diversity becomes more commonplace in society, and immersing oneself in that environment would help me gain a better understanding of the world, in its totality. I think that going to Virginia Tech, with its highly diverse student body, would surely give me a much more expansive learning experience, as it teaches students the ways of interacting with different types of people, in preparation for the real world.

topstardog - / 1  
Aug 13, 2012   #2
This is pretty good, but I get the feeling that any student could have written this as a personal statement for any college. My recommendation would be to make it a bit more personal (for example, talking about the experiences you already have in diverse culture--your Asian step sister or your homosexual best friend or what have you--and how they have helped to form your view on the world, your understanding of others, your choices in where you're taking your life, etc.) and to reference things specific to Virginia Tech that make it diverse and why they appeal to you (specific organizations they have, etc.). Specify, specify, specify. It makes you look much more like a person to the college and much less like an application-writing machine.


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