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"a liberal arts experience" - Bowdoin Supplemental Essay



ccanning10 1 / -  
Nov 13, 2009   #1
Bowdoin is a liberal arts college that thrives on intellectual discourse in and out of the classroom. Students, faculty, and staff all participate in the exchange of ideas in an atmosphere characterized by high achievement and a sense of balance. The Admissions Committee is eager to learn more about you and your school community. Reflecting on your own educational experiences, how have you prepared yourself to enter an academic environment like Bowdoin's? (Suggested length: 250-500 words.)

Whether the case is lunging and sprinting, or computing and thinking, the motivational structure of the fencing team, paired with the intellectual exertion of fervent academics, provides a balanced state of mind along with a reliable sense of community. Taking part in interesting subjects and passionate activities allows for a complete education of the body and mind. St. John's Preparatory School for boys provides the environment necessary for the blooming personalities of these young men, also referred to as eagles. These eagles, who represent the school in and out of the classroom, forge close relationships based on similar experiences, maturations, and familiarity.

Where some might find rejection and lack of confidence, I discovered a home. Making the commitment to the sport of fencing enrolled me in a band of family members, dedicated to helping each other and improving overall success. Fencing provides for competitions consisting of 27 two-man bouts. The team with the most wins is the victor. A single bout allows for one person to fence another, in a one-on-one activity of skill and patience. Each team member evaluates himself by his performance in a bout. In the end, however, all fencers contribute to the team's overall score, and join together in celebration or defeat. When the team is defeated, all eagles pay the price at practice. This causes fencers, who truly want to improve themselves and achieve a victory for the team, seek aid from more experienced fencers. In the process of helping each other and suffering together, a community of brothers forms. The strong bonds of shared experience and zeal for improvement create a group of friends dedicated to the same cause of collective success.

Throughout my studies and experiences in school, I have discovered and utilized my mental thought processes and techniques, preparing me for the years of learning ahead. Solving problems in mathematics and computer programming have similar approaches and solution methods. The inquiry requiring an answer must clearly be defined. Forward thinking then produces a list of steps to undergo in order to produce an answer. Finally, these steps are executed, and the answer and work is checked for errors. This thought process of problem identification and solution formatting is the basis of my everyday thinking, and shapes who I am. I use similar methods when fencing, identifying the action my opponent has taken, and producing the appropriate response with quick thinking. Such an understanding of my thought process will help me in the future. For example, I hope to utilize my passion for programming and organized thinking in Bowdoin's RoboCup team, the Northern Bites. Also, continuing to fence and expand my quick thinking and mental abilities will allow me to improve in all aspects of life. Pursing my passions and experimenting with new subjects and activities will test and improve my understanding of my abilities as well. Bowdoin has everything I desire in a small liberal arts college, from athletics to academics, and from size to virtues of curriculum. I believe William DeWitt Hyde perfectly captured what I wanted out of a liberal arts experience when he wrote this line: "To lose yourself in generous enthusiasms and cooperate with others for common ends - this is the offer of the college."

Words: 537
Do you have any suggestions for a title? I know I am supposed to know a title If I truly understand my essay, I am just very poor at creating them.

RhonWeasley 2 / 6  
Nov 14, 2009   #2
I'm applying to Bowdoin, too! My fingers are crossed!

Some small suggestions:

"Taking part in interesting subjects ..." Maybe you could replace the word 'interesting'? inspiring, riveting, provocative, etc.

"Pursuing my passions and everything I desire ..."

In my opinion, the second paragraph feels a little too explanatory and choppy:

"Fencing provides for competitions consisting of 27 two-man bouts. The team with the most wins is the victor. A single bout allows for one person to fence another, in a one-on-one activity of skill and patience. Each team member evaluates himself by his performance in a bout ..."

Perhaps: "Fencing competitions consist of 27 two-man bouts, the victor being the team which garners the most wins. Each bout challenges the individual's skill and patience ..."

Of course, these are all just suggestions.

Good luck!!


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