Okay, this is my Amherst supplement...The prompt is:
1. "Rigorous reasoning is crucial in mathematics, and insight plays an important secondary role these days. In the natural sciences, I would say that the order of these two virtues is reversed. Rigor is, of course, very important. But the most important value is insight--insight into the workings of the world. It may be because there is another guarantor of correctness in the sciences, namely, the empirical evidence from observation and experiments."
Kannan Jagannathan, Professor of Physics, Amherst College
"I just don't like you," she scoffed and turned back to face the board. I simply stood there, the vacuous expression on my face belying the inner turmoil raging inside of me. How could my reasoning have been flawed? Hadn't Newton himself claimed that all bodies having mass are naturally attracted to each other? How was it, then, that the female body of mass in front of me had been more repulsed, than attracted, to me, a fellow body of mass? Eventually, I was forced to conclude that Newton, busy as he had been musing over the ways of the universe, hadn't ever bothered to experiment his hypothesis on girls and was thus woefully unaware of its glaring flaw. The insight I had just been given into the cruel workings of the world certainly seemed to suggest that things aren't quite as rosy as Newton had imagined them to be.
Ever since that first failed experiment, I have carried out numerous others (and failed equally badly at them), and have thus come to appreciate the predominant role that insight plays in the sciences. As I have had the misfortune to learn, even when reasoning seems to point stoutly towards one direction, insight might reveal the answer to lie along a completely different one. For instance, I recall being appalled once upon discovering that the straight twig that had been floating down the stream was, in fact, considerably bent. Fearing for my eyesight, I was immensely relieved upon learning that the strange phenomenon I had witnessed was a result of the refraction of light underwater.
Wherever the sciences are concerned, reasoning without insight is tantamount to playing a game of golf with blinds on. And strangely, it is this very aspect of the sciences that leaves me so enthralled; I cannot help but marvel at a world where our minds can so easily deceive/bamboozle us whenever we commit the indiscretion of arming them with insufficient knowledge. Determined never to be duped again, I have made it my life's purpose to gain as much insight as I can into the workings of the enigma that is our world.
What do you guys think?? I chose to answer only the sciences bit of the supplement because that's what i am most interested in and i don't feel as though there is any strict requirement specifying what the essay has to be on. Also, i couldn't decide as to whether DECEIVE or BAMBOOZLE was a better word to put there, so i would really appreciate any suggestions as to this...Finally, do u guys think seeing a twig in a stream, and reasoning from the visonary input that it's straight, can be called an adequate case of false reasoning?? Or is it just a case where my eyes have deceived me and thus cannot be considered as reasoning??? THANKS A LOT FOR ANY HELP AND I WUD BE HAPPY TO LOOK OVER YOUR ESSAYS...
Hi maroon5, I loved your Mohawk essay :)
Ok, for this question the order of importance for reasoning and insight is that insight > reasoning. I would say that the 2nd example is better as it provides a clear comparison of both insight and reasoning, insight being the Young Double Slit Exp. and your reasoning that light is a particle.
The 1st example was really interesting! On where to cut down... what is the word limit?
Do check out my essays too! Thanks!
i would be okay writing something around 330-350 words...i'll definitely get to your essay now...
this is really humorous yet still clearly hits the point.
it keeps the reader interested with its clever tone
amherst needs you man
In my opinion, your first second paragraph is better than the second second paragraph. It's concise and to the point.
Also, i'd use "deceived" instead of "bamboozled".
Hi maroon5, great essay! I like the 1st second para as I thought that it was interesting and succinct. I would also use "deceive" - it seems more appropriate. I really love your 1st para, it's just humorous! Overall, I think your essay is insightful and funny at the same time...any sch should be lucky to have you. You really showed that you love to learn.
I don't really know how to cut it down though! It just seems so great that cutting any part out will make it seem incomplete.
"repulsed, than attracted"- no comma
"hadn't ever bothered to experiment his hypothesis on girls" - I feel like test might work better than experiment in this context.
Really witty and well written essay; I love it! My two corrections are only super minor nitpicking haha because it's pretty much perfect already. Great job, good luck!
"inner turmoil raging inside of me"--------------do you think it'll be better if you drop "inner"? You have two words that express the same meaning. "inner" and "inside".
Other than that, great essay! It is humorous and insightful! I especially like the beginning!
PS. I am applying to Amherst as well, but I write about a different topic.
Oh, BTW, thanks for correcting my grammatical mistakes! but do you think that my essay is a little bit boring?
Any more input anyone??? The deadline's very near and i would really appreciate ant advice...I could look over your essays too...
Dst nice insightful essay...btw eita ki transvestite marka topic ekta?? kichui toh bujhlam nah...i thought amherst e apply korbo..but eishob essay likhar iccha nai amr..:p
Hmm nice:) but lets evaluate it a bit more.
So lets see, the examiner is sitting reading a lot of essays, and than he caches upon yours. The first line is good so the hook is there that will catch him in the essay. So hooks there.
Next comes the content, as he reads on he will find that from newton's method you related your social experiences. The first paragraph will put a smile on his face.
As he reads on you somewhere lost your reader. He gets your point but looses interest because your using too tough language. Try using simple language. Your a teenager! not a novelist. Try to be gentle with English its your friend not an enemy:P
Content is good, approach is good. Hats off man! nice:)
I loved reading this essay. You are very eloquent with you're words. You know what you want to say, you're decisive, to the point, yet hilarious and funny.
I would enjoy reading this if I were in admissions.
dude you are one clearly clever beast. you managed to answer what the supplement wa asking but you'd put a twist in it in a way that scientist teachers and other teachers will understand. use deceive instead of bamboozled since i think decieved is a better word. its pretty funny. i think its good and theres nothing to cut down on it.
ps. cAN YOU HELP WITH MY REVISED ESSAY ON HOW TO CUT DOWN THE LENGTH?
tHANK YOU
