Hi Everybody,
Below is a draft of my commonapp essay. Please help me and I promise to edit your essays in return!
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience and its impact on you.
McDonald Vs. Kung Fu Panda
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore-- And then run? Or does it explode?
--Langston Hughes, "A Dream Deferred"
"Pack up your stuff. We are flying to America."
While still pondering over bizarre English sounds written by Hughes, I was on my first step to explode my dream.
Growing up in Beijing, China, and brought to Washington DC, United States, my life changed tremendously after this clash of cultures. My parents accepted a job offer in the Chinese Embassy to help me explore the world. During the flight, as I watched other blond, African-American, and Hispanic passengers doze peacefully with eye masks and ear plugs, I stared into the vast darkness outside and questioned my fate: How was I, an 11-year-old who knows only the English word "Pardon", going to survive in America and carry on my family's hopes?
During my adaptation period, I realized an important concept: The four vast oceans do not separate humans; the differences between cultures do. I feared of opening my mouth, letting the strange English tone stumble on my tongue; I feared of dreaming about home, inviting homesickness into my mind. However, little by little, I began to construct words and phrases that once sounded alien to my confused ears. Even as an 11-year-old girl, I learned the jubilance gained by surpassing the impossible.
I kept this in mind. I began to strive for more. I dived into my academic life. I ran home to practice my pronunciation so that my classmates will not laugh at my strange accents; I did math speed drills and astonished my peers during Algebra class when many were struggling in Pre-Algebra. Diligence always pays back: I was the model student with straight-As who was considerate of others. Ready for new challenges, I welcomed high school in the fall of 2009.
I let my dream explode. When the other freshmen were still bragging about new adventures, I was taking online classes to earn more credits. When the sophomore students were bossing the freshmen, I had finished my junior year's credits and enrolled in SAT prep classes. Now, as a junior graduating in three years, I am applying to colleges and planning my graduation prom. I was forced-not by my parents, not by my teachers, but by my own yearning for success.
This experience was a positive factor in my life despite the numerous obstacles I faced only as a child. The fear I suffered strengthened my courage; the language barrier I encountered increased my curiosity for knowledge. I always regarded that period as a Dark Age, yet it was a Renaissance that brought light into my world. My international upbringing shaped who I am today; I now stand as a fearless runner, ready for the road ahead. I realized that I could be a Kung Fu Panda crazy for McDonald's French Fries.
Below is a draft of my commonapp essay. Please help me and I promise to edit your essays in return!
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience and its impact on you.
McDonald Vs. Kung Fu Panda
What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore-- And then run? Or does it explode?
--Langston Hughes, "A Dream Deferred"
"Pack up your stuff. We are flying to America."
While still pondering over bizarre English sounds written by Hughes, I was on my first step to explode my dream.
Growing up in Beijing, China, and brought to Washington DC, United States, my life changed tremendously after this clash of cultures. My parents accepted a job offer in the Chinese Embassy to help me explore the world. During the flight, as I watched other blond, African-American, and Hispanic passengers doze peacefully with eye masks and ear plugs, I stared into the vast darkness outside and questioned my fate: How was I, an 11-year-old who knows only the English word "Pardon", going to survive in America and carry on my family's hopes?
During my adaptation period, I realized an important concept: The four vast oceans do not separate humans; the differences between cultures do. I feared of opening my mouth, letting the strange English tone stumble on my tongue; I feared of dreaming about home, inviting homesickness into my mind. However, little by little, I began to construct words and phrases that once sounded alien to my confused ears. Even as an 11-year-old girl, I learned the jubilance gained by surpassing the impossible.
I kept this in mind. I began to strive for more. I dived into my academic life. I ran home to practice my pronunciation so that my classmates will not laugh at my strange accents; I did math speed drills and astonished my peers during Algebra class when many were struggling in Pre-Algebra. Diligence always pays back: I was the model student with straight-As who was considerate of others. Ready for new challenges, I welcomed high school in the fall of 2009.
I let my dream explode. When the other freshmen were still bragging about new adventures, I was taking online classes to earn more credits. When the sophomore students were bossing the freshmen, I had finished my junior year's credits and enrolled in SAT prep classes. Now, as a junior graduating in three years, I am applying to colleges and planning my graduation prom. I was forced-not by my parents, not by my teachers, but by my own yearning for success.
This experience was a positive factor in my life despite the numerous obstacles I faced only as a child. The fear I suffered strengthened my courage; the language barrier I encountered increased my curiosity for knowledge. I always regarded that period as a Dark Age, yet it was a Renaissance that brought light into my world. My international upbringing shaped who I am today; I now stand as a fearless runner, ready for the road ahead. I realized that I could be a Kung Fu Panda crazy for McDonald's French Fries.
